hi ..
well as i mentioned .. i tried everything mentioned in this thread with no luch ..
i just logged on my server and tried what you suggested .. it just tars everything

Are you using linux or some other system?
Tar varies widely concerning different systems, on solaris for example you have to do this:

tar cvfX backup.tar ex.txt httpdocs/

where ex.txt is a textfile which contains
httpdocs/temp/

If you use linux, i have no idea why it doesn't work, i can only suggest reading the man page and an trial and error approach.

well am using redhat 7.2
did you try this way on a linux box did it work with you?

Yes. GNUs tar seems to work this way too. But given that --exclude does not work for you, you probably don't have the gnu tar.

Try it anyways maybe it works.