a) yes
high security is more or less standard,
no root password, no root priveleges
look into Kiosk mode under the KDE desktop
b) mandrake probably has, redhat almost certainly has and suse may have
you'd need to contact each provider
c) Sun Microsystems Star Office and OpenOffice can both open .xls and .doc and .pps
though there is an issue with some formatting transfering successfully (again it's dependant on each document)
KOffice also can open some Office type formats
Gnumeric can use .xls
Abiword can handle .doc
there is a current shortfall in Linux Office apps when it comes to Access .db files, Sun say that JDS3 will contain a patch/update for Star Office that addresses this.
For database design see
http://knoda.org and lok for the app "mysqlcc" (mysql control center)
d) yes, see
http://www.linux.org and the Free Software Foundation,
whilst there are variations between distros in precise file structure there are universal standards to which Linux complies (file naming, addressing, and so on)
e) yes
you can ssh (equiv to telnet) into remote machines and install updates that way and Sun's Java Desktop has an all in one GUI sys admin type app that would allow what you want
hope that helps