guh,
that was cough(

)
in freebsd always, u do ps -axj |grep <username>
was my fault to write only -ax.
then from the lots off processes
<user> 498 491 498 473 1 I+ v0 0:00.01 xinit
<user> 503 502 502 473 1 I v0 0:00.02 /bin/sh /usr/local/bin/startkde
if u kill this then u blow his window desktop
after this, his is in console
is there any processes stil active? something like login? kill it
have a nice day