Tough Problem!
You can set up a load balancing server, or with iptables/IPchains NAT, I hear that you can make the network traffic go from the NAT box to the machine that is less busy.
I would read all you can about IPTables/Chains that you can, and also look at some of the QOS stuff that comes with Tables.
Please post your solution if you figure something out, because this is something that I might be able to use too.
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