Solution found
We finally came up with a solution to this problem: send them back! The individual who managed the original laptop purchase simply called the vendor, expressed our utter dissatisfaction with the machines, noted the complete lack of response from Acer's support group, and demanded that they be taken back. They leave here this week. By next week, I will have a new set capable of handling both Linux and Windows. There will be fewer of them (price will be a bit higher), but, at least, my classes will be able to go to work on the course material without hassling the hardware/software issues of the Travelmates.
If you want to do Linux at all, avoid the Acer Travelmate at all costs!
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