Microphones don't work!!
 

http://www.amazon.com/Remanufactured.../dp/B00092CZ9I

That is the kind of laptop I have, IBM Thinkpad T22 (ancient I know >.<).

My microphone will not get recognized by anything, it's a headset and everything! I've messed around with the mixers but I can't seem to get it to work. Any ideas??

Sometimes you have to open the Preferences window and add the control for the mic by checking the box. Try Mic Boost, Front Mic Boost, and Headphone.

EDIT: Knowing what distribution would be helpful as well. :)

Sorry, lol, new to linux so I keep forgetting to tell the distro as well xD

Xubuntu 10.04

Does your mixer show Mic Boost and Front Mic Boost sliders?

It shows just the microphone, I hear it through my speakers when I turn it up but not through any programs o.O

If you click on the 'Preferences' button when your mixer's open, are there any choices that have to do with 'mic' that have an unchecked box?

Nope, I checked 'em all and made sure they had some sort of volume

Could you post your audio settings?

...and are the headphones analog (stereo type 1/4" plug) or usb (or other)?

http://i46.tinypic.com/2cffeyo.png
http://i48.tinypic.com/2uqc1m1.png

That's just the default mixer I use, but the first picture shows you the different mixers I have

The headphones are analog

I think you're missing a mic input. I linked a screenshot of mine after I've opened the 'Preferences window. I needed to add another mic (front mic) slider to get mine to work. I'm using Debian Sid, but you can see the idea (I hope). I think your options are under 'Select Controls'.

I don't have a Front anything, the only microphone input I can find (even after looking through "Select Controls", the input you see is the one I have

Hmmm, not sure then. Have you tried running 'sudo alsaconf' from a terminal and selecting the device you want? I see PulseAudio is installed (I think it's default with *buntu now). I've never been able to get it to work right (just another layer of useless complexity to me) and don't use it. Maybe someone who runs *buntu can advise better?

I suppose there is some problem in the settings better you go in the settings and check it out.If you don't still get the answer than better you go to store from where you purchased it because microphone is kind of thing which which get damage quickly.