Lots of RAM usage is not a bad thing. Try running 'top' from a terminal window to find out what is using up your CPU; that might give you a better idea of why things are slow. Both these issues are discussed in further detail under the wiki
FAQ - Linux problems.
I strongly doubt it's anything to do with your motherboard, especially if your system monitor is seeing all of the RAM, and most of it is actually being used. Look for other causes first: running services, cron jobs, too-graphic-intensive window manager, wrong or old video drivers, etc.