So... if the hardware configuration tool (hardrake I think it's called) says the modem's module is unknown, and doesn't give me any options to goof with it, then the modem's no good to me, right? (pardon me, I'm just some rube who doesn't care for the idea of intellecetual property)

I'm having a hell of a time finding a modem here in the PRC that my pooter can even find, let alone set up.

I guess I'll get one over ebay, tho never dealt with it before.

If ya got any other advice on getting a humble 56k number I'd be real grateful. THANKS!

It's probably a WinModem, which means some of the hardware chips were left out (cheaper) and Windows picks up the omitted functions in software. Some USB modems are 'soft' modems as well. The only way you can be sure that a modem will work with Linux out of the box is if it is a full implementation of the Hayes AT command set, in hardware. Most serial external modems are, and so are OK with Linux. If you're considering a USB modem, make sure it can handle the complete Hayes AT command set in hardware. Some people have been able to get WinModems working in Linux: look here for more info:

http://www.linmodems.org/

You might be lucky if yours is one of the ones they've got working.