Hi
Google turned up nothing that seemed to apply. This is an ASUS n80vn laptop, core2duo, 4gb ram, nvidia geforce 9300m GS, Intel Centrino (although i can't get it to spit out a chipset number), intel audio (again no number given).
sudo lshw gives this :
*-network DISABLED
description: Wireless interface
product: Intel Corporation
vendor: Intel Corporation
physical id: 0
bus info: pci@0000:03:00.0
logical name: wmaster0
version: 00
serial: 00:21:5d:0d:de:26
width: 64 bits
clock: 33MHz
capabilities: pm msi pciexpress bus_master cap_list logical ethernet physical wireless
configuration: broadcast=yes driver=iwlagn latency=0 module=iwlagn multicast=yes wireless=IEEE 802.11abgn

*-multimedia
description: Audio device
product: 82801I (ICH9 Family) HD Audio Controller
vendor: Intel Corporation
physical id: 1b
bus info: pci@0000:00:1b.0
version: 03
width: 64 bits
clock: 33MHz
capabilities: pm msi pciexpress bus_master cap_list
configuration: driver=HDA Intel latency=0 module=snd_hda_intel

The wifi will not respond to fn f2, and nothing comes out for sound at all. Any help would be appreciated.

What kind of Linux distro are you running? The farthest I could go as far as wireless goes, on laptops, using live CD's, was with Mandriva 2007 ... I hear "wicd" or wifi-radar are the weapons of choice here and your best bet. Try first to see if the modules associated with your wifi card are loaded:
# lsmod

About the sound: try (as root)

# alsaconfig

(or is it alsaconf ?) It is a command line utility, but it is pretty good. If you hear the sound at the end, then at least you know your hardware works, you just ned to start poking around and configure the mixer volume...

try also
# lspci

to get a list of your devices ... and maybe more info

Sorry, I was up all night trying to solve this, and in a tired stupor forgot important details such as my distro. It was Ubuntu 8.04. Apparently the problem had 2 thumbs and was too dense to realize the kernel predated most of the hardware (me). A dist upgrade while i napped solved everything but bluetooth, which i can't figure out on my phone anyways. Thanks for the attempted help.