amosf is right, the GUI (Graphic User Interface) gives the look. Never the less there are big differences between the different distros, in both tools, and idiology.
idiology - debian is free, red hat you pay for, etc; Also, SuSE pro is for servers, SuSE standard for desktop, etc.
the tools differ, but this needs to be qualified, KDE tools are the same on any distro, because they are a part of KDE (version numbers asside of course). same with other tools. BUT, distro specific tools exists, such as rpmdrake (which is MDK specific) or the SuSE control panel (similar things exist in other distros) or Xconfigurator on RedHat (though i don't think they use that still).
There is another difference, come to think of it, and that is that difference distros have files in different places or under different names. Unfortunately this sort of difference is very subtle, and can be frustrating but odds are if you can't find the file, you are looking for in the place it should be, you can google it or ask here. Unlike in SuSE, you can't run rpmdrake because it doesn't exist (unless you are really keen).
Distro's vary, but the overall thing is the same. for an Illustration, check out "Linux Administrator Handbook" (can't remember the author, it's got a horrible picture on the front and is green) where they list the tasks and the differences between SuSE, Debian and RedHat, and although they exist, it's something that, if you are aware that a file may have a different name, odds are you'll find it, because usually it isn't that different. Alternatively it may just be in a different place.
One final thing, Slackware as well as other distro's use run level 4 as the default GUI run level. SuSE uses 5. It's little things, but odds are if you are in there playing with that, you know to read the comment that explains that it is different
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