mysql remote connecitons
 

hi.
im using mysql Ver 11.18 Distrib 3.23.52 for suse 8.1. Everything works well: i can open the mysql console localy and access all the db's and apache with php running on the same server works fine.
What i cannot do is access the mysql server remotely. if i type the command:
mysql -h mysql_server_hostname -s 3306 -u user -p password
I get:
"ERROR 2013: Lost connection to MySQL server during query". I get this error if I type it localy on the mysql server host!! Its as if there were some sort of firewall or smth blocking por 3306. On the other hand, if im getting an error code "2013", doesnt this mean that i have actualy connected to the mysql server but there is some other sort of problem and not a blocked port?
The server daemon is run from initd, so i dont have to touch /etc/hosts.allow to grant outside access to it. do i?
Also, i have a mysql user with "%" in the "host" column of the "user" table, so i should have access from ALL hosts.
¿how can i check / enable if port 3306 is open?