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Old 01-14-2012, 06:28 AM   #1
Mr. Alex
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Why don't some people answer messages?


Hello!
Sometimes I contact someone with E-mail/SMS or any other sort of message system and ask question that requires answer. And he/she doesn't answer that. Why do people do that? This wouldn't be a surprise if the person was angry at me or just not interested in answering. But these people are good to me and very kind in conversations. Sometimes they answer messages and it's like nothing even happened. Like no question was ignored. Talking to them face to face is also makes me feel like they don't even remember that they even received messages from me.

There are also some people who NEVER ignore a byte from me. Every single sentence gets full attention. I can write 3 lines of a messages and get 25 line answer.

So why do some people behave like they never receive messages from you? This is really confusing.

Last edited by Mr. Alex; 01-15-2012 at 02:47 AM.
 
Old 01-14-2012, 06:49 AM   #2
Thor_2.0
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Quote:
So why do some people behave like they never receive messages from you? This is really confusing
That's why Netiquette was invented...and that's why it's ignored...

And, believe me, you're still in the "green zone"...I mail my very own sister every once in a while and dont even get a reply...how's that for "rude"...

Mail is still (wrongly) not regarded (by everyone) as a valid form of communication. The phone HAS to be ansered, though people dont return (all the) calls either. Fax? Nobody uses that anymore. SMS? Depends who you text. If it's a younger person or someone like my dad, you'll get a reply. Again, it all depends on the validity someone gives a form of communication...

Oh, and by the way, this was a reply

Thor
 
Old 01-14-2012, 02:37 PM   #3
H_TeXMeX_H
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For mail, I suppose they might be using an unreliable mail service (yahoo comes to mind) or they could be getting a lot of spam or your message could go in the spam directory.

Honestly I think they choose to ignore some messages, or they have a low attention span and read the message but forget to answer because they get distracted.

For instant messaging there are less / no excuses. Here it kinda has to be just ignoring you. I know that every message I've been sent I have received upon logging in, and there is a log.

It's just something that people can do with electronic messages rather than face-to-face ... they can ignore you. You can do that in real life too, I do all the time, but it's harder to stop them from talking. This also applies to a phone conversation ... it would be considered rude to drop the phone. I guess I could fake a bad phone connection and then it cuts out Or I could say I gotta go now.

I don't ever count it against them if they ignore me. I do sort of mind that they don't recall receiving the message, because I'm sure they got it. Maybe they just don't wanna talk about it or it benefits them if they never got the message.

I answer pretty much every message I get electronically, no so in real life. I don't answer every question that I am asked and I don't answer the phone either most of the time, in fact I usually unplug it every time I get the chance
 
Old 01-14-2012, 07:40 PM   #4
silvyus_06
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Perhaps they just use the mail when they expect someone to send them something and usually just use it to register on forums and etc...
 
Old 01-14-2012, 07:51 PM   #5
sgosnell
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I don't have a message plan, so always ignore any sent to me. I also leave my computer for long periods, still signed into a chat program like Google Talk, so I miss a lot of IMs. It's not rudeness, I just have a life away from the computer.
 
Old 01-14-2012, 08:37 PM   #6
sycamorex
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I know it probably doesn't answer your question but my mobile phone is always on 'silent.' When I see a number of missed calls I choose who to call back.
Sometimes I don't feel like talking to (certain) people. I refuse to be available 24/7.
 
Old 01-14-2012, 09:45 PM   #7
frankbell
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You may require an answer, but that doesn't mean they feel required to answer you, especially if they don't know who you are.

I think some persons have plugged themselves into so many social networks that they just can't keep up.

It's difficult to theorize further without having more context about the messages and the receivers.

For myself, if I get a message from someone and it's clearly not spam, I will respond. I'm just happy to have been noticed.
 
Old 01-14-2012, 10:11 PM   #8
Bill@home
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Sometimes people will answer and sometimes they don't. Personally, I don't bitch or cry if people don't answer my email or whatever. That's life...
 
Old 01-15-2012, 12:03 AM   #9
Knightron
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Maybe you are a bad writer. If you type a question at the start of you message, and then continue on to describe other things, it can be easy to forget the question; which is why i try to put my questions at the end of messages.
On the other hand, i believe people are by nature self centered, and because of this can easily develop short attention spans, which may be part of the issue too.
 
Old 01-15-2012, 03:46 AM   #10
Mr. Alex
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Knightron View Post
If you type a question at the start of you message, and then continue on to describe other things, it can be easy to forget the question; which is why i try to put my questions at the end of messages.
I noticed that also. Sometimes I ask three-four questions in a message and only the last one gets attention. That's when I know the person just doesn't care about my message even though responding.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgosnell View Post
I don't have a message plan, so always ignore any sent to me.
What do you mean by a "message plan"?
 
Old 01-15-2012, 08:45 AM   #11
catkin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Knightron View Post
If you type a question at the start of you message, and then continue on to describe other things, it can be easy to forget the question; which is why i try to put my questions at the end of messages.
I used to do that and then realised that people don't always read to the end (TLDR -- "too long, did not read") so never got to the question!

I switched to putting the question(s) at the beginning. The recipient knows what I want them to do and can read the rest of the message with the question in mind -- or stop there if they are not going to answer.
 
Old 01-15-2012, 12:20 PM   #12
theNbomr
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The simple receipt of a message from anybody does not obligate me to anything. Whether I know you, what my relationship to you is, my present time availability, whether I know something that can help you and other factors all dictate whether I will reply. Personally, I find the use of e-mail and other electronic stored messaging useful for the exact reason that I can filter out as many as possible intrusions into my time. Telephone caller-ID serves a similar purpose, principally. I reject entirely the notion that anyone can send me an e-mail or any other message, and thereby obligate me to reply in any way.

If you are asking questions privately, when the answer potentially has value to others, you are defeating the purpose of public forums.

--- rod.

Last edited by theNbomr; 01-15-2012 at 12:22 PM.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 06:59 PM   #13
sgosnell
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By message plan, I mean that I don't have unlimited, or even limited messaging on my phone. Every message costs me money, so I ignore all of them. Text me and you will be ignored. You have to pay separately for text messages, one way or another.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 07:03 PM   #14
celthunder
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People do this to me all the time. First time...it happens...second time I ask to make sure I have there information correct. Third time, if they weren't on vacation and they aren't moving or with another really good excuse I just stop sending them messages.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 08:04 PM   #15
jschiwal
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The recipient may have 400 unread email messages. Too many people use reply to all, or post messages to the entire company. Email has become maybe the greatest productivity killer ever invented (aside from Solitaire)
 
  


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