If you come over, dont hang around the city and for god sake, dont cry... One thing is for sure, you will either miss every joke about you or you will think we are looking for a fight and heaven forbid if you cop one of us that have a really dry sense of humour...

I have two personalities, one online and the other that would get me totally banned, but for a bush aussie, online is very hard...

All this rewriting to make sure I dont get kicked out is hard on the backspace key...

Yeah, it was!

And your forgiven, we like to do the same

George Carlin
raging on some stupid Raygun supporter at a rainbow gathering in 1984

http://www.welcomehome.org/rainbow/s...nual-site.html

Care to tell us more?

When I was a kid (can't remember exactly how old I was) I lit a fire in the backyard (I grew up in a country town), and thought I had put it out, and then went over to the shop across the road (we lived just off the main street). And when I come back and went out the back, realized half the backyard was on fire (I can laugh now, but at the time, it was anything but funny), so quickly grabbed the hose to put it out. Thankfully, I managed to put it out just in time, before it did set half the neighborhood on fire.

Thankfully, no one noticed it and called the fire service. The local police station was just up the main street too, don't know if the local cop (it was and as far as I know, still is a one cop station) was there, at the time.

OK
we were sitting at a coffee camp
this guy was trying to convince a a hippy that the U.S.A. was a benefactor
to the world and that the only correct way of thinking IS the conservative
way of thinking
basically trying to sell the moral majority philosophy

Carlen heard 20 minuets of this guy spout shit like the rich are being rewarded for being god's people
then he got up and started capping on this guy about social injustice
how the rich own this world
about the cause of all the world problems come from greed
and how only the rich should be buying in to the conservative bullshit
he even predicted a coming police state if the conservative power grew more than it had already
about how the conservatives actually want big government in your bed room
and how every one would but the already rich would end up in poverty

this might have been the start of Carlen getting politcal
it wasn't like a show Carlen was pissed off to the extreme
sorry I don't have some good zingers for you but it's been over 30 years but I do remember gest of what he had to say

who in there right mind would sit down in a crowd of 50,000 hippys and think they could recruit for the moral majority
(CA highway patrol estimate of the size of the crowd )

Back when I had a boat--a nineteen foot deep-V runabout--my ex and I had been out water skiing on Still Pond Creek off the Chesapeake Bay.

My boat, that is, the outboard motor, broke. I got towed back in by a fellow on a jet ski (also known as a personal water craft or PWC).

I did not find it funny at the time, but I imagined it looked pretty funny to anyone who saw us.

oh i could tell a few funny stories about some of the european gatherings, though not as far back as 1984, and i have to admit that most stories were just weird to the extreme, not funny...

funny:
a big gathering, many people were getting the same sickness - that Polish guy running around in the circle, demanding a kitchen revolution: "Garlic for the people" - basically telling them that everyone should be given garlic, and if not, they should just take it. it would heal all sickness.

counting regionals I've been to about 60 of them about 40,000 miles of hitch hiking
the WST finally drove me away from them by slipping some kind of opiate on me
sending me through 2 weeks of withdrawal
nasty
nasty
nasty
the drug's effects was worse than the 7th hour of withdrawal
what ever it was I would rather go through withdrawal than knowingly do that drug

Here's another true story and someone got arrested this time (not myself), anyway.....

I was living at a another boarding house, and we were all drinking one hot summer (from memory) night, and decided to drag the bench out the front onto the medium strip (being this one, which is now a slip lane - probably because of us), in the middle of the road.

We thought the cops would drive past on patrol and sure enough, they very very slowly drove up to us, and done a U'y and pulled over. One of them walks up to us and says "it's not particularly safe here", with a big smile on his face, laughing. One of the guys with us says "is there any legal precedent for this?" laughing as he was saying it (only wearing his boxer shorts and nothing else), the cop just laughed.

Anyway, we went back inside the boarding house, and one of the other guys with us, decided to drag the same bench, onto the middle of the road, blocking traffic. A different cop had to drag it back to the side of the road.

We went back out the front afterwards and the same guy decided to moon passing traffic, the only problem was that he didn't realize the oncoming car was the same two cops that pulled up the first time. Until after he had mooned them, of course, they stopped and one of them was like "oi, come here, first ya's are sitting in the middle of the road and then ya's put the bench in the middle of it, and now your showing us you ass!". They arrested him (and charged him) for indecent exposure and he had to go to court for it too.

@rob.rice: yes, from what i've heard the american gatherings were/are somewhat different.

Things are just getting too serious here at LQ, so let's have another laugh!

I was just waiting for a mate...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71DIT6hYXYo

Enjoy!

Several years ago the local Mcdonalds was being refurbished, they were re-laying the paving at the entrance and there was barrier tape for areas people weren't supposed to go in to. Barrier tape around where drainage grate/covers had been lifted, etc. etc.

Was coming through the drive-through (stop judging me, junk food rules!) with my wife and we're sitting at the window waiting for the order. Watching people come in and out, as you do. There's a family coming out, small fat kid with a shake in hand, sucking away on the straw. I'm watching the kid and the kid goes up to the barrier tape. And I'm like "that fat kid's going to fall down that hole" to my wife and she was "Nahhhhh...." so it's GAME ON!!!! We're both sitting in the car quietly cheering for "Team Hole" v's "Team Common Sense!"

Sure enough.... fat kid lifts the tape.... I'm now "GO TEAM HOLE!!! GO TEAM HOLE!!!", still waiting for our order, hoping (for once!) that the staff are going to be slow getting it together as we're totally engrossed in the unfolding drama in front of us.

The tape gets lifted, the fat kid ducks under the tape, the mother's back is turned.

The final score.... HOLE 1 - FAT KID 0

It wasn't really that far a fall, but it was a short enough kid that it got STUCK and had to be lifted out by both arms by the mother who then went in and dragged the MANAGER out to complain about her kid falling down a hole that was clearly A FRICKIN' HOLE and was also behind neon yellow warning tape!

To this day whenever we're getting food there (I told you, don't judge!) we still think about that fat kid falling down the hole and have a laugh.

@TenTenths that was pretty funny. Along the lines of people not having common sense. My friends' Dad is a cop. One time we had to go find him to talk to him and his Dad was working a construction detail. The road was closed, with signs saying "Road Closed", and "Detour", plus the caution cones. The laws or union benefits are that there needs to be a cop near all construction, either to direct traffic, or be there for safety. But a bunch of signs, the whole road being dug up, sawhorses across the road, large holes, and piles of gravel and sand pretty much should make that a non-effort on his part, and he's maybe 100 feet or so from the sawhorses across the mouth of the road declaring the detour and road closed. To add to this, it's one of those towns which is more city-like, therefore you go one block over and you can get "there" from "here", and you can see this.

While we're talking to his Dad, some lady in a big SUV pulls up to the sawhorses, proceeds to drive through them, knocking one of them over, snakes around the holes, and had to drive partially over a mound of dirt where she got stuck briefly and had to gun it like she was in a snowbank, thus spraying gravel and dirt everywhere. She finally gets up to us, it's ONE MILLION percent clear that she can't go no further, since NOW there are the big bulldozers, diggers, and other equipment all working on the sewer, the workmen are down in their hole looking sedately at the idiot lady. Who rolls down her window and asks him, "Can I go through here?"

Without hesitation he says back, "SURE! Why not! What's a few Caterpillars (style of construction equipment), compared to some sawhorses, and a pile of dirt! Just throw 'er in 4 LOW and rev 'er up!"

She looked at him like he had 5 heads, drove the next 10 feet up to the construction guys who were both working and looking at the dimwit, she sat there for about 10 seconds, and then put it into reverse and did her vehicle gymnastics to turn around and get the heck out of there, whereupon she had to drive over the fallen sawhorse.

The coup de grace was AFTER she drove over the sawhorse, she stops, gets out and walks over to look at what she just drove over, and she yells to us, "YOU SHOULD FIX THAT!"

@TenTenths I don't judge, but I will admit that I did laugh!!!

It reminded me of when I was waiting at McDonalds (I like junk food as well, mmmmmmmmmmm!) and there was a bloke who was soooo fat, he literally had to waddle up to the counter, to order his food. I didn't know (and still don't) whether to feel sorry for him or laugh at him! I remember thinking, you need weight watchers, not another burger!

But anyways............

Maybe this guy should try something else..........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuuaOja-Ld8

Enjoy!