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View Poll Results: Are you married?
Yes 10 41.67%
No 13 54.17%
In process 1 4.17%
Voters: 24. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 11-03-2017, 10:25 PM   #61
enorbet
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcane View Post
But that opinion is not valid. Humans > animals. Animals do not feel or understand art.
Actually some animals collect items that serve no purpose other than ornamentation and some build ornamental homes, or even faux homes. symbolic of an actual nest, often the males do it to attract females. Art isn't far removed from fashion and that too has sexual overtones and studies have been done that show evidence that, for just one example, lionesses are attracted to dark maned males, so I hardly think the human animal is all that removed from so-called lower animals. We are only higher on the food chain and even that can be upset under some conditions..
 
Old 11-05-2017, 01:39 PM   #62
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Last time I checked, marriage was not the exact opposite of being a single. Polyphilia works nicely when combined with being married.
 
Old 11-06-2017, 10:33 AM   #63
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Wow this really diverged.

I think I still like dave@burn-it's advice.

Do not overthink this stuff. That whole video about some tormented cartoon guy and the beyond fabulous female being "offered" to him, there is so very much wrong with that. Envision showing that to any woman you'd date. Besides the very first, "Uhm ... NO!", because you just know that a very large percentage of women in the world would not appreciate the message made by that. And then realize (I think you do) that none of that is anywhere near reality.

I'm glad that you also recognize this whole acronym about men going their own way and some branch of feminism are extremes which seem to be built out of resentment/hate just because those who select those opinions are spiteful for some reason.

I said before, seems as if you want to date and meet someone special. Why does this need all forms of analysis? Go out there, learn to engage people in conversation, learn about them. I don't know ... maybe take on some customer service jobs for practice. Learn how to be extra nice and interact with people. Part of a lot of that is also learning the types of people you want to interact with. Some people are very self confident, or get excellent reads on other people. This doesn't sound to be you, you instead may see someone you like, but know nothing about them, then either not know what to say, or how to evaluate whether or not that person is the type for you. Well, my opinion is that someone who you deem to be "a friend" is the type of person for you.

I have a distant relative who I haven't seen in years. I suspect that they chose hate. They really don't talk to anyone the rare times we do see them, funerals mostly. Sadly I grew up with this person and I haven't been able to "talk" to them for 25 years. I've tried, but they give me nothing. I hope they're happy. Doesn't help the few times I see them is a family funeral, if they show up, so one would expect them to be somber for those occasions. Meanwhile they don't show up for weddings or other stuff. Agree with Rok ... seems awful boring and un-fun to be that way.
 
Old 11-13-2017, 09:50 AM   #64
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It is not that i overthink stuff or that i am not honest but it is more of being raised in old ways where people were loved and respected without expecting some kind of reward then ending up in new way world where everything is about profit. This creates dillema inside where real personality is clashing with what others want personality to be because of 'society pressure' to fit in. But why is it not fitting in if you are considered "too nice"? I do not get it. Do girls want from us boys to be more of kind people who torture-kill anyone who looks suspicious? I like others can be like that aswell but i will not be myself if doing so. That is lame and not true justice for everyone. And that stupid category practice to put people in groups - Alpha Beta Gamma Omega does not help either. We should all be simply humanish(if that makes sense). It could also be because i had different childhood experiences. Not worse or better - just different.

Last edited by Arcane; 11-13-2017 at 09:53 AM. Reason: typos
 
Old 11-13-2017, 01:05 PM   #65
ondoho
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you might benefit from a change in scenery - a bigger city, a different country, new people.
(big) cities are often meeting places for people who moved away from their old home for some reason.
 
Old 11-13-2017, 03:37 PM   #66
dave@burn-it.co.uk
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I had decided just that and had handed my notice in with the intention of doing contract work ( thus travelling around).
That very same day I was out with a couple of mates doing our usual pub crawl. We had bough our drinks and found a table, but were one stool short, so I turned to the next table and nicked one, just as a girl was about to sit down.

We have been married for well over thirty years.
 
Old 11-15-2017, 12:34 AM   #67
Arcane
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ondoho View Post
you might benefit from a change in scenery - a bigger city, a different country, new people.
(big) cities are often meeting places for people who moved away from their old home for some reason.
I do change scenery - my job is related to traveling. But that was not my point. Also i can say that while i am average person who is living simple life and happy about it i can say that for some reason i am attracted to girls who are better than me. Why better? Cause i am not prince or person who achieved Olympic medal in something etc.. Just everyday boy. But due to being beauty understanding person i clearly see they are worth more. This is precisely why i was considering "the wall" - if i can't help one then i will help all of them.
 
Old 11-15-2017, 05:54 AM   #68
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Just stop the self pity - it doesn't work on here!
 
Old 11-15-2017, 11:07 AM   #69
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My success with girls has nothing to do with looks or money.

It is real easy actually. Don't be judgmental. Look them in the eye. Treat all of them special. Fat, skinny, tall short, dumb, smart, ugly, pretty.

If I was a girl. I'd run from you. Way too analyzing.

Sense of entitlement is noticeable behavior. Unless the girl is sharp as a wet liver.
 
Old 11-15-2017, 11:39 PM   #70
ondoho
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^ thanks rokytnji.
i was going to reply to that part, but you put it best.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcane View Post
I do change scenery - my job is related to traveling.
that's not necessarily the same as "A change in scenery".
 
Old 11-16-2017, 06:42 AM   #71
jsbjsb001
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dave@burn-it.co.uk View Post
Just stop the self pity - it doesn't work on here!
I could be wrong and if so, fine, but...

...it doesn't sound like "self pity" to me, it sounds a lot more like your just over-thinking things. Don't get me wrong...

A) I'm not a relationship counsellor.
B) We've probably all done it at some point or another - guilty!
C) Your only human, can't blame ya for that.

I can't say that I've been in the dating scene for a while now (if really ever) and I've never been married. But the advice Rokkie give ya in post #69, sounds like pretty good advice to me.

In my experience things don't tend to happen when you expect them to (weather that's this topic or otherwise), they tend to happen when you don't expect it. I guess it's pretty stupid in a way, to at least some extent. I've had girls offer to marry me but, at least one of them was old enough to be my mother tho. So I think I'd personally prefer someone who's at least a little closer to my age.

I can't say I'm particularly interested in getting married at this point in time tho. I do want to move from where I'm currently living tho. Not so much to find a girl to marry, mind you. I much prefer to keep my options open, as much as I can anyway's. I also don't believe in the idea that your less of a person just because your not married. I think you have to be in the right place mentally first, before you really can commit to someone (male or female). I'm not saying your not either, don't get me wrong.

May I ask why you think it's so important for you to be married?
 
Old 11-20-2017, 04:00 AM   #72
Arcane
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsbjsb001 View Post
{...}...it doesn't sound like "self pity" to me, it sounds a lot more like your just over-thinking things. Don't get me wrong...
{...}
May I ask why you think it's so important for you to be married?
Of course it is not self pity. Maybe it is overthinking due to different life experiences.

You may ask. I guess it is either of society pressure to fit in or simply because otherwise noone believes i am hardwired normal person..but i am. I noticed on internet people also tend to not believe people even if they did not lie.

BTW: I am also not relationship guru(obviously) but i find it also bit sad we now need different advices to remember stuff that was supposed to be in our DNA.

Last edited by Arcane; 11-20-2017 at 04:07 AM. Reason: btw
 
Old 11-21-2017, 12:43 AM   #73
ondoho
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcane View Post
i find it also bit sad we now need different advices to remember stuff that was supposed to be in our DNA.
oh c'mon.
firstly, mating is in our dna, but that's not all there is to a relationship. not by a long margin.
also, there's a web page for anything. doesn't mean we need it.
 
Old 11-21-2017, 07:09 AM   #74
rtmistler
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You want some more real advice? What's your age and experience?

You raise a lot of references. Life is not online references.

Fairly certain you're a lot younger than me. But I don't know if you're early 20's, dated a bit, but not successfully, or some entirely different situation.

Stop citing society as an excuse. Own responsibility for things. If things are bad and you want to change them, a top priority is to change them. Studying scenarios on the Internet does not help one in dealing with people. Be a listener, and learn about a person this way. None of this means you need to trade away your personal views in life; however it at least may allow you to get to know someone for longer than a first encounter, and actually learn what makes that other person tick.

Advice from my mother, probably 40 years ago, "There's someone for everyone in this world."

I've only been married once and faithfully so, however I have probably met several women whom I could've spent my life with.

Love is something you give, and the other person gives to you. There's no taking involved.
 
Old 12-22-2017, 11:25 AM   #75
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Thanks for replies. I now can mention one more thing that i was not ready to say before - my libido some last years is glitchy and dunno cure..it is not end of the world for me cause i found other interests(watch movies like Interstate 60 to understand) but it might be deal-breaker for girls who desire full satisfaction..kinda hits on self-esteem..
 
  


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