In the GNU/Linux version you would (enable logging, see manual, so you can trace back problems more easily and) run vlc with the "-I rc --rc-host ip_address:tcp_port /path/to/playlist.m3u" switches to select the remote command interface, enable it to listen on an IP address and TCP port for incoming connections and load a playlist. Once running you would use your system tools to list used TCP ports to see if it's available (or check the log file) then connect telnet or netcat to ip_address:tcp_port and type "help" (w/o quotes) to show you've connected and finally "logout" to disconnect. Try it an see if it works I'd say.
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