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Old 05-16-2017, 12:29 PM   #1816
jamison20000e
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How deaf are they?

If reading this in brail I got one to sign to your deaf friends:
Quote:
2. DEAF MAFIA:

A Mafia gang takes on a Deaf man to run their deliveries, feeling it would be safer having someone unable to overhear conversations. However, one day when he is to deliver a large sum of money, he never shows up with it. The mobsters track him down, but don't find the money on him. As none of them are able to use sign language, they bring in an interpreter.

Mobster: "Where'd you hide the money?" (Interpreter signs the question.)

The bag man signs his reply. The interpreter says, "He says he had to ditch it in the river because the cops were onto him."

Mobster: "I'm not fooling around! You better tell me where that money is!" (Interpreter again signs.)

The bag man signs his reply, and the interpreter relays, "He swears he is telling the truth. He had to get rid of it."

The mobster pulls out a revolver and points it between the Deaf man's eyes. "Tell me where that money is, or I'll kill you right now!"
(Interpreter signs his statement.)

The bag man, sweating profusely, signs, "It's inside a shoebox under a loose floorboard in my bedroom closet."

The interpreter says, "He says he doesn't know where it is and he doesn't think you have the guts to pull the trigger."
http://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/pages-layout/jokes.htm
 
Old 05-16-2017, 01:44 PM   #1817
ondoho
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^ this is a very sad joke. it is also in the wrong thread.
otoh, i don't mind diverting attention away from cousinlucky
 
Old 05-25-2017, 04:03 AM   #1818
jamison20000e
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Code:
fortune
Quote:
Two hundred years ago today, Irma Chine of White Plains, New York, was
performing her normal housekeeping routines. She was interrupted by
British soldiers who, rallying to the call of their supervisor, General
Hughes, sought to gain control of the voter registration lists kept in
her home. Masking her fear and thinking fast, Mrs. Chine quickly divided
a nearby apple in two and deftly stored the list in its center. Upon
entering, the British blatantly violated every conceivable convention,
and, though they went through the house virtually bit by bit, their
search was fruitless. They had to return empty handed. Word of the
incident propagated rapidly through the region. This historic event
became the first documented use of core storage for the saving of registers.
 
Old 06-08-2017, 11:42 AM   #1819
Arcane
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Regarding those academic fanatics good quote:
Quote:
A single conversation with a wise man during the eating of a meal, is better than ten years' mere study of books. ~Chinese Proverb
 
Old 07-12-2017, 02:02 AM   #1820
floppywhopper
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I dont want any nasty soggy chips
I want mine crisp und light brown
 
Old 07-12-2017, 04:38 AM   #1821
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Devil: ...But you are causing many persons to think who never thought before and you would fain put the whole world a thinking and then where will true religion and piety be? Alas! They will have no place among men, for if men keep such a terrible thinking and reasoning as they begin to do, since you commenced your business, as you call it, they never will continue to uphold the good old way in which they have jogged along in peace for so many ages, and thus, Mr. Smith, you will overthrow my kingdom and leave me not a foot of ground on earth.

--P.P.Pratt, "Joe Smith And The Devil"
 
Old 08-09-2017, 02:08 PM   #1822
Arcane
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Just another simple quote because the complicated problems tend to have simple solutions..
Quote:
Love is the power house behind our lives, it is the reason we live.
 
Old 08-09-2017, 02:09 PM   #1823
linustalman
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Julian Assange: "No wars without lies no peace without truth."
 
Old 08-10-2017, 02:34 AM   #1824
jamison20000e
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Function over fashion.
 
Old 08-10-2017, 06:14 AM   #1825
dave@burn-it.co.uk
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I've always known that as "Function over Form"!!
 
Old 08-10-2017, 01:33 PM   #1826
linustalman
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Salman Rushdie: "Religion, a mediaeval form of unreason, when combined with modern weaponry becomes a real threat to our freedoms. This religious totalitarianism has caused a deadly mutation in the heart of Islam and we see the tragic consequences in Paris today. I stand with Charlie Hebdo, as we all must, to defend the art of satire, which has always been a force for liberty and against tyranny, dishonesty and stupidity. 'Respect for religion’ has become a code phrase meaning ‘fear of religion.’ Religions, like all other ideas, deserve criticism, satire, and, yes, our fearless disrespect."
 
Old 08-11-2017, 02:15 PM   #1827
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try, and try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damned fool about it. - W. C. Fields

Last edited by Trihexagonal; 08-11-2017 at 02:16 PM.
 
Old 08-12-2017, 01:14 AM   #1828
ondoho
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dave@burn-it.co.uk View Post
I've always known that as "Function over Form"!!
I've always known that as "Form follows Function"!!
 
Old 08-14-2017, 07:12 AM   #1829
jamison20000e
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Arrow

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trihexagonal View Post
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, and try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damned fool about it. - W. C. Fields
Must be why he's dead.!?
Quote:
Children learn to smile from their parents.

Last edited by jamison20000e; 08-14-2017 at 07:17 AM. Reason: ... + !? ;) we2 :eek: ...
 
Old 08-14-2017, 09:25 AM   #1830
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And they learn to laugh AT them??
 
  


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