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Old 04-06-2022, 09:06 PM   #31
dogpatch
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Sign in a bar:

"If you're drinking to forget, please pay in advance."
 
Old 04-10-2022, 11:26 PM   #32
newbiesforever
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dogpatch View Post
Sign in a bar:

"If you're drinking to forget, please pay in advance."
How clever.
 
Old 04-14-2022, 07:24 PM   #33
dogpatch
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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, why the long face?"
 
Old 04-14-2022, 07:45 PM   #34
Soadyheid
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Guys from Scotland, England, Northern Ireland and Wales all walk into a bar. The English guy says, "That's it, I'm out of here." So they all have to leave...

Oh! Sorry, that's a Brexit joke, not a bar joke.

(Maybe just a wee bit too political? Oops!)

Play Bonny!

 
Old 04-14-2022, 07:47 PM   #35
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Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
 
Old 04-14-2022, 07:49 PM   #36
michaelk
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A cornstalk walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Want to hear a joke?" The corn stalk replies, "I'm all ears!"
 
Old 04-14-2022, 08:14 PM   #37
dogpatch
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A panda walks into a bar that serves food, and orders a meal. Upon finishing, without warning nor provocation, he pulls out a revolver and fires several shots at random, breaking mirrors and windows and frightening other customers. He then puts the revolver away and starts to walk toward the door. The manager stops him, saying, "What do you think you're doing?", to which the panda replies, "I'm a panda. Look it up."

Puzzled, the manager goes back to his office, pulls his dictionary, and finds this entry:

panda (n) A bear-like animal native to Asia. Recognized by its characteristic black and white coat. Eats shoots and leaves.
 
Old 04-15-2022, 12:51 AM   #38
ondoho
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dogpatch View Post
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, why the long face?"
Sounds like a joke Bojack Horseman would tell!

It also sounds really, really familiar...
HORSE WALKS INTO A BAR
 
Old 04-15-2022, 05:06 AM   #39
Soadyheid
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@dogpatch

You missed the comma out! The definition of a panda should have read:
Quote:
Eats, shoots and leaves
as written in a badly punctuated wildlife manual.

See Lynne Truss' book, "Eats Shoots & Leaves. The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation"


Yes... I am that sad sort of person.

Play Bonny!

 
Old 04-15-2022, 05:33 AM   #40
ondoho
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^ Ah yes, the devil is in the smallest details:

"Let's eat grandpa!"
 
Old 04-16-2022, 04:57 PM   #41
weirdwolf
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A remote viewer finds the bar he's looking for.
 
  


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