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schatoor 11-27-2003 02:36 PM

girl howto
Girls really are something arn't they. Beautifull mysteriouse creatures yet so poorly understood. So I was wondering, is there an girl howto I can download? I tried "man girl" but it came up with nothing.

LOL, just kidding :D

acid_kewpie 11-27-2003 03:03 PM

schatoor 11-27-2003 03:14 PM

He thanks ...

Seriously, I reallized that I might be offending or other wise discriminating against female members on this forum. If so, i'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that.

Cruxus 11-27-2003 07:04 PM

First of all, don't take advice about women from Eric Raymond :tisk: : Take it from me. :p

Think of women is the newest, best system out there but with many compexities unique to them. Better yet: Think of them as people--human beings like you and me.

1. Be friendly and helpful. Never taunt them for their likes and dislikes or lack of knowledge. You have to start out as kind of a friend.

2. Don't "geek out." Unless the particular woman happens to like that kind of stuff, she probably doesn't want to hear too much about it. BUT do be helpful with their computer problems; being helpful is always appreciated.

3. Avoid trying to push them into a relationship; no one likes to feel manipulated.

4. Try to show your sense of humor. Maintain a friendly atmosphere.

5. Be passive about it. The women really will come to you if you keep a mystique about you. If you seem desperate, they'll avoid you.

6. Be creative. For some reason, I've found many women like artistic and literary facility. This also adds to No. 5 above.

Good signs:

7. If they laugh at your jokes and actively engage you in conversation, this is a good thing.

8. If they make body contact (including "accidental"), this is a better thing.

9. If they stop to talk to you or to say hi, this is definitely a good sign.

10. If they want to hang out later on, again, this is a good thing.

NOTE: Many of these things can apply to a regular friendship as well.

crashmeister 11-27-2003 08:30 PM


Originally posted by schatoor
He thanks ...

Seriously, I reallized that I might be offending or other wise discriminating against female members on this forum. If so, i'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that.

With that attitude the ladies should be flocking around you.:D :D :D

Azmeen 11-27-2003 09:07 PM

Don't try to "understand" girls... it's not the way it's meant to be.

Just acknowledge that they are as they are.

Soon you'll face an upgraded version of them called "women"... And this, my friend, is where the real challenge lie!

But still... do not even attempt to understand them. Even their own species don't understand themselves. They're just part of this beautiful mystery called life.

iceman47 11-27-2003 09:19 PM

We can agree that A girlfriend is a product of time
and money right?

Girlfriend = Time * Money

Your girlfriend is a woman!

Girfriend = Woman
Woman = Time * Money

We all know that time is money...

time = money
woman = money * money

woman = (money)^2

We also know that money is the root of all evil,

money = sqrt(evil)

woman = [sqrt(evil)]^2


woman = evil


iceman47 11-27-2003 09:20 PM

Rules for women:

1. If you think you might be fat, you are. Don't ask us. Just get your arse down to a gym!

2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put the bloody thing down!

3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. It causes unnecessary arguments when we dare to comment on it.

4. Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present..... again.

5. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

6. Saturday = Football. Let it be.

7. Shopping is NOT a sport.

8. Anything you wear is fine. Really !!!

9. Ask for what you want directly. Subtle hints don't work.

10. Face it, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

11. Most blokes own two to three pairs of shoes, so what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with that particular dress.

12. 'Yes', 'No' and 'Mmm' are perfectly acceptable answers.

13. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem. See a doctor.

14. Your Mum doesn't have to be our best friend.

15. Check your oil. It is an essential part of car maintenance.

16. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissable in a subsequent argument.

18. It's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's all the bloody chocolate you eat!!!

19. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are air-brushed makes you sound jealous and petty and it's certainly NOT going to deter us from reading them.

20. The male models with great bodies in magazines are all gay.

21. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of these ways makes you sad and angry, ... we meant the other one.

22. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we rate how pretty you are?

23. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercial breaks.

24. When we are in bed and look tired this means that we are tired and does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship.

25. If you want some dessert after a meal - have some. You don't HAVE to finish it. You can just taste it if you like but don't say, 'No, I couldn't/ shouldn't/don't want any' .... and then eat half of mine!

26. Dieting doesn't work without exercise.

27. If you're on a diet, it doesn't mean my meals should be rabbit food!

28. A man's four essential food groups are: white meat, red meat, warm beer and cold lager. Please ensure that all meals contain a good balance of the above in acceptable quantities - everything else falls under the category 'garnish'.

29. Do not question our sense of direction.

30. All girls wearing tops that are either tight fitting/ low cut/with slogan/ with picture etc lose the right to complain about having their breasts stared at.

If you can learn the above, then man and woman can co-exist on a level based on love and mutual respect.

The ball's in your court.


The Lads.

koyi 11-28-2003 01:00 AM

Thanks, acid_kewpie, the howto is a great one :)
I think I should start reading non-technical howto from now on.

yowi 11-28-2003 09:25 AM


$man woman
No manual entry for woman

there was a woman man page out there somewhere...

schatoor 11-28-2003 01:33 PM

cool, if you remember could you tell me?

bones996 11-28-2003 02:32 PM

I agree with Iceman47's post but if I say no, I have to say no dear & then it usually doesn't matter what I say anyway :rolleyes:

Bensoft Kill MS 11-28-2003 05:00 PM

Of course the man pages won't have anything. After all, what do we know about you? Try the woman pages...:D

newpenguin 11-28-2003 05:20 PM

any moderator can tell us that what is the percentage of total registered females on this forum.

mcleodnine 11-28-2003 06:04 PM

There may be quite a few, but threads like this probably cause them to remain anonymous.

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