Free Linux book and some jokes
 

I have just found a very good Linux book available for download, it is very comprehensive, you can download it here: http://rute.2038bug.com/rute.html.tar.bz2

And now for the jokes:D


DARK IN HERE

A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in
the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little
boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the
lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove,
let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy -"$1,000" The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge
your friends like that...that is way more than those two things
cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit
in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again".


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



HU'S ON FIRST (By James Sherman)
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glassof milk. And
then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy
at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food in the Middle East?



Cheer's
amp2000

I found this list at one of the corners of infinite net (oximoron, eh?)

An inuit in his canoe gets a little chilly. He lights a fire to warm up, and burns a hole in his boat. It promptly sinks, thus proving that you cannot have your kayak and heat it!

--

There are 10 people in this world: those that can count in binary and those that can't.

--

Polo walks into a bar, the whole place goes quiet. He walks up to the bar and orders a pint of beer. A couple of chocolate bars in the corner talk quitely to one another: one asks 'who is that guy?', the other replies: 'That's Polo. He's the baddest sweet in town. Don't ever argue with him!' Next, a Halls Soother walks into the bar. Polo looks over, and jumps under the table. The sweet that was sitting at the table looks underneath and says 'What you doing under there, Polo? I thought you were the baddest sweet in town!' Polo looks up and says 'Don't you know who that is? That's Halls Soother - he's menthol!'

--

What's yellow and smells of Bananas?
Monkey sick!

--

More to follow when I can remember them!

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot-dog stand and says 'Make me one with everything'.