RESUME
George W. Bush
President of the United States of America
The White House, USA

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE


LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for
driving under the influence of alcohol. I pleaded guilty, paid a fine,
and my driver's license was suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving
record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL.
I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug
use.

By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat
duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University. I was a C student and a
cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975.
I bought an oil company but couldn't find any oil in Texas..
The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that
took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil
industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected Governor of
Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden
city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions
in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American
history.

With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by
over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
U.S. stock market.

I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a
criminal record.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year
period.

After taking-off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
security failure in U.S. history.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a
WMD, and breaking the nuclear arms treaty.

In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.
President.

In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs
and that trend continues every month.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any
president in U.S. history.

I set the record for least amount of press conferences for any
president since the advent of television.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused
to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in
duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war
time.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to protest me
simultaneously in public venues (15 million people) shattering the
record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I've broken more international treaties than any president in U.S.
history.

I am proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza
Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I am the first president in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation.
I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.
citizens, and the world community.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy
in the history of the United States government .

I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations
remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war
(detainees) and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva
Convention.

I am the first president in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in
U.S. history. My political party used the Enron private jets and
corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court
during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent
investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center
attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated
country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I am first president in history to have a majority of Europeans
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
security.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to
justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's
library, sealed, and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public review.

Please consider my experience when voting in 2004 -

Oh boy, So you dont like Bush. Whats your point? Another anti-american thread?

?

I need to edit out the anti-american part. Which line is it listed on? Thanks for your help.

All you had to know was he sucked. Everyone already knew that. Man, talk about overkill.

LOL that was teh funest damn thing i ever heard! (well not realy, but still damn funny ), most of that stuff i never knew about, now that i do, i dont think he should be alowed to live on earth, send him to mercuy, that was he can burn in hell!!!) also he wasent teh first president to break teh geneava convention, the USA broke it by trying to brainwash german POW's after WW2 so tehy wouldetn try to kill and brun people, funy part was that most never knew what hittler was doing to teh people he ordered away) now back from the history lessen and say that that should be fun on the news cuse if people actualy heard that i doupt anyone who was planing on voting for bush would go pick some other guy, never trust somone who eaurpeans mostly hate (actualy thats jsut a excuse cuse teh real reson is cuse he was protecting enron (THAT BASTARD!)))))

I read and got the intention of this thread as more of a joke, funny indeed. So I say lets try not to take it seriously and let it turn into a flame war of any kind please.

Thanks for the laugh macewan,

-trickykid

You out of all people should know our rules by now and refrain from posting personal attacks and name calling.

Did you not read my thread right above yours?

I would highly suggest you edit your post to make it more constructive.

Regards.

LOL, the whole thread is a flamebait. What do you expect?

Ignore, skip and move on then.. no reason to make matters worse. Its really that simple.

Regards.

The first few lines...

Accomplishments as Governor...

Accomplishments as President....

Records and references....

And then....aahhhh ( falls down laughing...)

funny as in a really sad the world is going to shit kinda way. good to keep all things in a light perspective.

love your work.
Ben.

BajaNick - since when was slagging off Bush anti-American?

For you to identify the USA so strongly with George Bush the individual makes me wonder if you aren't the President himself. I guess the spellchecker is keeping your secret safe for now George!

Some of the "points" in there are shady, at best. Regardless, there's plenty of reasons why people don't like Bush. Quite honestly, my biggest gripe with him is simply the fact that he can't give a decent public speech. He's just.... not capable of handling it, and quite honestly, it makes him look kinda riduclous (read: stupid).

I'd love to see Bush get elected again if for no other reason than just to see the steam coming from macewan's head afterwards. Now THAT'S real humor! hEhEhEhE

Lets try to refrain from making personal comments or posts to other members please. I'm sure my original warning earlier in this thread is covered under this as well, called flaming, etc.

Regards.