Brave captain
 

So a ship is sailing and only the captain and the first mate are on deck. The rest of the crew are resting. It is pretty quiet until the first mate notices a ship off in the distance that is pretty well armed and heading towards them. He alerts the captain, and the captain says, "bring me my red shirt!" So the first mate brings his captain the red shirt, and then the battle with the other ship ensues.

After the battle, everyone celebrates and puzzled the first mate asks about the red shirt. The captain replies, "Ah, well in case I was ever wounded during the battle, I did not want the men to see that I had been hit, it is not good for morale." The first mate is then impressed by this.

A few days later while sailing again, this time the first mate notices a pretty well armed fleet approaching. He alerts the captain, and the captain this time says, "bring me... My brown pants!"

What people will do to up their post count :) (Hey, I guess mine went up too!)

Thanks! A funny is good every now and then. :)

Funny. :-D

Not really. Posts in general don't count, nor was it my intention anyways.

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Anyway, it was still funny.

lolz :D:D

hmm ... well-breds with jittering elegance in refinedly wovened drop-in barrel towels and slippers vs leathers and felts in gunboats ... probably ... ?? i donno ...

but i did suspect that was actually good people wanted to do buisness with you but kind of like feeling "oh no ... see you like that we also feel lazy and sleepy ... die lah if like that ...and we did rather see you in green pants and boots ..." ...




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You've got a great way with words, alred.
:scratch: :D

Muslim Humor
 

I figured that most of the worlds ills must be because muslims have no sense of humor. Apparently they have.

"I was walking in the desert and got a whole tribe of Bedouins to run!"

"Really? How did you do that?"

"I ran away and they ran after me!"

Religious fundamentalists (mainly christians/muslims) don't. The States does NOT need any political backing from Pat Robertson, or any other christian fundamentalist to any party. They need to stay the hell out. I'm tired of the christian-right republicans. I would much rather live in a secular dictatorship.

[edit]

As far as I'm concerned, George Carlin said it best. "There is no god, none whatsoever. Wars, famine, disease, and the icecapades. If this is on the resume of a supreme being, I am not impressed!"

Joke Thread
 

"What do you do with an elephant with three balls?"

"Walk him and pitch to the rhino."

Lighten up. This is a joke thread, not a political one. An elementary knowledge of ancient history will show that the worst and bloodiest wars were religious in nature, not political or economic. Regardless of the religions involved.

FYI: I am not actively religious, definitely not "right wing", and am certainly not a "christian fundamentalist", though I respect others beliefs. My own philosophy can best be summed up as "I believe in God, but no religion." I agree that I would much prefer to live under purely secular rule, but dictatorships are right out. Good quote though, George Carlin sometimes does have a way with words.

BTW: I've always loved your signature. Seems we have the same mechanic.

Spew Alert
 

Ok, Mr. Politically Correct, I defy you to watch this and not laugh.

hard to say ...

how to see ... ?? i really donno ... probably by having good faith in "actually there are still good men and women around" and "our place is not that bad as yours ..." where nobody believe in these sort of things anymore ... ok , i guess this one is a bit "religious" for the lack of better words ...

probably christians are the most secular as far as what i can see ...

and all in all , pure secularism can be of the worst dictatorships ...
note :: this one got nothing to do with the above line ... you have to believe me ...



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Jeff Dunham is awesome. I saw that stand up special. Anyways, I don't consider myself PC. I don't see how its possible not to offend everyone. Usually there is always something that offends someone, so oh well. Anyways, this is my last stab at religion, and I promise to no longer bring it up. I will let George Carlin do the talking about religion....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o

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George Carlin is NOT in any ways PC by the way. :D

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There. I'm done with that. Now, to switch the subject, still on jokes. Eddie Izzard's experience with computers. Classic. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6C_HjWr3Nk