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Old 11-07-2019, 07:53 AM   #3226
jsbjsb001
Senior Member
 
Registered: Mar 2009
Location: Earth? I would say I hope so but I'm not so sure about that... I could just be a figment of your imagination too.
Distribution: Currently OpenMandriva. Previously openSUSE, PCLinuxOS, CentOS, among others over the years.
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When I was still using window$, I also believed you could put out a petrol fire with water...

I think you'll like the jokes below fido!

Quote:
Originally Posted by http://jokes4all.net/microsoft-jokes
How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

1) 1001. One to install the new bulb, plus one thousand lawyers to assert intellectual property rights over every light bulb ever invented.
2) Microsoft doesn't change light bulbs. It declares Darkness (TM) the new standard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by http://jokes4all.net/microsoft-jokes
They say when you play that Microsoft CD backward you can hear satanic messages ... but that's nothing. If you play it forward it will install Windows
Quote:
Originally Posted by http://jokes4all.net/microsoft-jokes?p=2
Why did Microsoft give the name "Windows" to its operating software?

If you had so many bugs, you would throw it out the window too!
Quote:
Originally Posted by http://jokes4all.net/microsoft-jokes?p=2
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Quote:
Originally Posted by http://jokes4all.net/microsoft-jokes?p=2
Microsoft is not the answer - Microsoft is the question. The answer is no!
Quote:
Originally Posted by http://jokes4all.net/microsoft-jokes?p=2
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):

"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8) New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9) The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11) GM would also require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12) Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13) You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
 
Old 11-07-2019, 08:04 AM   #3227
YesItsMe
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Distribution: Gentoo
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"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."

Winston Churchill
 
Old 11-07-2019, 08:33 AM   #3228
jsbjsb001
Senior Member
 
Registered: Mar 2009
Location: Earth? I would say I hope so but I'm not so sure about that... I could just be a figment of your imagination too.
Distribution: Currently OpenMandriva. Previously openSUSE, PCLinuxOS, CentOS, among others over the years.
Posts: 3,208

Rep: Reputation: 1659Reputation: 1659Reputation: 1659Reputation: 1659Reputation: 1659Reputation: 1659Reputation: 1659Reputation: 1659Reputation: 1659Reputation: 1659Reputation: 1659
Not sure we are doing this in right thread YesItsMe, but what the hell...

Quote:
When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows,' people just stare at you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, for free.' --Linus Torvalds
...or should I say NoItWasn't
 
Old 11-07-2019, 09:11 AM   #3229
cynwulf
Senior Member
 
Registered: Apr 2005
Location: /dev/planet2
Distribution: OpenBSD
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsbjsb001 View Post
Needless to say reinstalling the driver didn't work...
Removing all drivers* and putting them back one by one.......... didn't change a thing.

*means uninstalling the devices, removing all the drivers from the print server, removing the files from the directory where printer driver files are actually stored, sanitising them from the registry, rebooting (of course) and starting from scratch - changed absolutely nothing.

I do this for a living, I've worked with windows printers and their drivers since the Windows 95/98 days up until current Windows 10 - but have not come across this bug before. The workarounds are good enough for now - but no doubt if pressed the answer from the "VIPs" and "Pros", will be to reinstall.
 
  


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