Real radio conversation is Finisterre coast (Galicia, Spain)

- Spanish:... (noise)....Please, divert your course fifteen degrees south to avoid collision...

- Americans: ...(noise)...We recommend you to divert your course fifteen degrees north to avoid collision

- Spanish: Negative. I repeat, divert your course fifteen degrees south to avoid collision

- Americans: This is the captain of a USA navy ship. divert YOUR course.

- Spanish: We repeat again, we recommend YOU do divert your course.

- Americans: THIS IS THE CAPTAIN OF THE U.S.A NAVY LINCOLN USS AIRCRAFT CARRIER SPEAKING, THE AMERICAN FLEETS SECOND BIGGEST WAR SHIP. WE COME WITH THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISE SHIPS AND A LOT OF CORVETTES, WE GO TOWARD PERSIAN GULF TO TRY MILITARY MANEUVERS IN CASE WE EVENTUALLY ATTACK IRAQ.
I ORDER YOU TO DIVERT YOUR COURSE FIFTEEN DEGREES NORTH, IF YOU DON'T WE'LL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TAKING NEEDED MEASURES TO GUARANTEE THE SECURITY OF THIS SHIP, YOU BELONG TO AN ALLIE COUNTRY. PLEASE OBEY IMMEDIATELY

- Spanish: We are talking to you from a LIGHTHOUSE. We are two people.
We don't have a single idea of our position in the Spanish lighthouses RANKING.
We are escorted by a dog, our lunch and two beers. Also by the "La Coruña" radio, and we are INLAND. You can take the measures you want to guarantee your ship`s security, but, we insist, the better and most recommendable option is to divert your course.

Heard it before, but it's still funny :-P

Well thats the actual US way to talking to the world