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Act of ultimate evil crashes kernel

I've been using Linux for a while now - on my desktop and laptop - and to be fair, most of the time it works well provided I put the effort in. But this particular problem has me completely baffled.

You see, I recently completed construction of a DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device with which I intend to destroy the Earth and all life upon it. The DQ-7650 can be controlled remotely through a serial connection with a stock-standard RS-232 null-modem cable - an essential feature, as I will be concealed in a bunker when I unleash the most destructive force this world has ever seen.

The problem arises when I send the command for the DQ-7650 to power up its reactor core:

Code:

$ echo "CORE_POWER_SET_LEVEL UNFATHOMABLE_DESTRUCTION" > /dev/ttyS0

$ echo "CORE_POWER INIT" > /dev/ttyS0

About 15 seconds later I see a whole lot of kernel errors and have to hard-reset my laptop. After rebooting, sifting through "dmesg" output comes up with this:

Code:

...

Unable to handle kernel NULL pointer dereference at virtual address 00000000

ttyS0: They said I was mad! Mad!

ttyS0: Fools! I'll destroy them all!

serial: I can't let you do that, Dave

serial: FATAL: kernel not evil enough

end_request: I/O error, dev ttyS0, sector 32

Buffer I/O error on device ttyS0, illogical block 0

Buffer I/O error on device ttyS0, illogical block 1

Buffer I/O error on device ttyS0, illogical block 2

[...]

printk: 13698 messages suppressed.

Buffer I/O error on device ttyS0, illogical block 3043

[...]

It is a sad thing indeed that most of my colleages are converting to commercial OSs, but I'm starting to see the temptation. Nobody does low grade evil like Macintosh or Microsoft, and sometimes you want that death ray to just work...

Moved: This thread is more suitable in General and has been moved accordingly to help your thread/question get the exposure it deserves.

Sci-Fi fantasies belong in General. -- J.W.

Umm... please refrain from posting while drunk.

Meanwhile, in the Justice League, Superman and the others receive a calling from detly treating the Earth:

- I've kidnapped Linus Torvalds and once I got my kernel fixed, I shall destroy the Earth.

Panic and chaos takes place on the streets of Metropolis. Batman and his 256 Bits *Nix powered Batcomputer tries to locate detly.

... continue

Quote:

serial: FATAL: kernel not evil enough

I understand Gates went out of his way to make sure they had native support for the full DQ-series of Reverse Flux Dissociator Devices, as well as the Interplanetary Discombobulator, in Vista.

please try to destroy the earth some other time, everyone knows the AYDAYDA>YIDA>IA> device is far superior at doing it anyway;

Quote:

Originally posted by SciYro
everyone knows the AYDAYDA>YIDA>IA> device is far superior at doing it anyway;

Yes, but it's less satisfying!

Re: Act of ultimate evil crashes kernel

Quote:

Originally posted by detly
<snip>
You see, I recently completed construction of a DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device with which I intend to destroy the Earth and all life upon it. The DQ-7650 can be controlled remotely through a serial connection with a stock-standard RS-232 null-modem cable - an essential feature, as I will be concealed in a bunker when I unleash the most destructive force this world has ever seen.
<snip>

What I don't get is why you need that cable: See if you're going to destroy the earth itself, it's of no use to hide in a bunker and you might as well activate the device directly yourself without the cables; thus allowing for more dramatic shots and more evil laughter (make sure you don't choke!).

You amateur evil overlord, pfuh! :P

Ahhh yes the DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device

The Windows 98 DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device
Blue screen of death
Instead of the earth being destroyed, a photo of a dog on the wall bursts into flames

The Windows XP DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device
This device has caused a fatal exception error and will be shut down.
Instead of the earth being destroyed a small dog walking down the street explodes.

The Mandriva LE2005 DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device.
RPM DQ7650 was not found.
Instead of the earth being destroyed, a rock the size of a medium sized dog explodes.

The Gentoo DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device.
After building the DQ 7650 from scratch ( using parts from old radios and microwave ovens ), and recompiling Gentoo and clicking on the destroy earth icon, a building for stray dogs explodes.

The Debian DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device.
After building the DQ 7650 from a kitset and using apt-get DQ 7650, you click on the "destroy earth" icon, flames leap from the monitor, sparks from the mouse and Mt Rushmore blows up leaving a strange canine like feature.

The FreeBSD DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device.
This device is not supported by FreeBSD, and you are forced to downgrade to the DQ-7600 Moon Destroyer.

The Mac OSX DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device.
Ah-haa - Connected to your Mac computer the Mac 7650 humms into life, when you click on the "destroy earth" button the moons explodes while your Mac plays a nice mp3.

The Xandros 3 DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device.
Installing the windows version of DQ 7650 using crossover office, and clicking on the "destroy earth" icon, The planet mars explodes killing millions of little un-discovered jelly monsters that never did anyone any harm except to eat martian doglets.

In a fit of rage you try one last time, this time with the ...
Commodore 64 DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device.
Clicking on the "destroy earth" button immediately annihilates the earth, leaving us to wonder, have computers really progessed much further in functionality than the Commodore 64.

floppy

Quote:

In a fit of rage you try one last time, this time with the ...
Commodore 64 DQ-7650 Reverse Flux Dissociator Device.
Clicking on the destro earth button immediately annihilates the earth, leaving us to wonder, have computers really progessed much further in functionality than the Commodore 64.

:D :D :D I like that :D :D :D

That was really funny, floppy!:D
And I must admit to a certain fondness for the original concept as well, detly.

really funny thread, kinda reminds me or this :)