There is another way. Instead of deleting the links, you can also use the tool 'sysv-rc-conf' to configure which daemons start in which runlevel. You can install it with the command 'aptitude install sysv-rc-conf'.
What you can do now is tailor the runlevels in such a way that ?dm (kdm, gdm or xdm) doesn't start in runlevel 2. You can do this with every daemon by the way. So you can tailor the runlevels to your specific needs. That Debian by default configures runlevels 2-5 identically doesn't mean that it has to be done that way. So you can configure runlevel 2 as text and runlevel 3 as graphical for instance.
The default runlevel is indeed set in the inittab file.
Remember, it is Linux, not Windows, you are free to configure the system the way you want to
