My Lose!
Posted 06-14-2022 at 08:52 PM by onebuck
Hi,
I have not been active here at LQ lately. I lost my wife on 05-04-2022 and it's been tough to get through this. When you loose a life mate it is very difficult. Fortunately my family has been here to help me. I'm just getting where I can make it through the day without breaking down. With my health issues, I always thought I would be the one to go first but Anne masked her issues. But, one never knows! My loss is very deep and thankfully my support has been there to help through these trying times. Friends and family are very important in these trying times!
I am currently trying to settle things here in Illinois so I can get back to Florida, we had decided to make Florida our permanent residence, I was to travel back to Illinois and face time with Anne to select what was to be brought back and what to sell. Never to happen as planned.
Thankfully my wife had good sense to set things properly so no major burdens on the family but still we need to polish things in order to settle the estate.
We had so much property, mine was the most. I have a lot of things that should have been gone long ago. I am a hoarder and always had material to accomplish my required tasks. I did remodel several properties from my reserve stock but that did not always stand with Anne. My wood shop alone is worth a lot but who would want to buy tools that require one to know how to use them. I was banned from buying anymore from sales or deals. Garages sales were a big no-no. Just like buying a different golf club, I just had my passions and worth to meet that.
It's sad, the man with the most toys wins. Not so! I am thankful that I was able to share a great life with someone who I loved very deeply. She helped me to be a better man and allowed me to press myself into that. Sorry to vent or rant on but I do miss her!!
Please remember;
Thank the Lord for our mindfulness!
I have not been active here at LQ lately. I lost my wife on 05-04-2022 and it's been tough to get through this. When you loose a life mate it is very difficult. Fortunately my family has been here to help me. I'm just getting where I can make it through the day without breaking down. With my health issues, I always thought I would be the one to go first but Anne masked her issues. But, one never knows! My loss is very deep and thankfully my support has been there to help through these trying times. Friends and family are very important in these trying times!
I am currently trying to settle things here in Illinois so I can get back to Florida, we had decided to make Florida our permanent residence, I was to travel back to Illinois and face time with Anne to select what was to be brought back and what to sell. Never to happen as planned.
Thankfully my wife had good sense to set things properly so no major burdens on the family but still we need to polish things in order to settle the estate.
We had so much property, mine was the most. I have a lot of things that should have been gone long ago. I am a hoarder and always had material to accomplish my required tasks. I did remodel several properties from my reserve stock but that did not always stand with Anne. My wood shop alone is worth a lot but who would want to buy tools that require one to know how to use them. I was banned from buying anymore from sales or deals. Garages sales were a big no-no. Just like buying a different golf club, I just had my passions and worth to meet that.
It's sad, the man with the most toys wins. Not so! I am thankful that I was able to share a great life with someone who I loved very deeply. She helped me to be a better man and allowed me to press myself into that. Sorry to vent or rant on but I do miss her!!
Please remember;
Quote:
My own simple expression; Too bad everyone is not perfect in that we should attempt to do the honorable things in life. Love is important to settle oneself.
Total Comments 18
Comments
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That's very sad, Gary. Sincere condolences. Stay strong.
-- BrianPosted 06-15-2022 at 02:24 PM by brianL 
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Please accept my heart felt condolences.
Posted 06-15-2022 at 04:52 PM by cwizardone
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My condolences, Gary. I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you have supports in place.
George AKA hitestPosted 06-15-2022 at 06:00 PM by hitest
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I also.
Hold the good memories close.Posted 06-15-2022 at 07:57 PM by frankbell
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Sorry for your loss. 5 of the guys I have worked with over the years have had the same thing happen. All of them retired soon after.
I never knew depression in my life until my dog died. (not even close to a wife I know) It kind of creeped up on me. Took me a while to recognize it and deal with it. Try to monitor your mental health for a while so that depression doesn't consume you.
That is the only word I can use, it consumed me without me knowing what it was.
Some web sites say to review photos and videos of the good times.Posted 06-15-2022 at 07:58 PM by jefro 
Updated 06-15-2022 at 07:59 PM by jefro -
I've noticed your absent here on at the linuxquestion.org forum. Been wondering where you went. Sorry for your loss. Hope you find better days.
Posted 06-15-2022 at 08:07 PM by SW64
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My condolences. I've never been married, never wanted to! But I remember my parents' marriage and what they were to each other so I guess you and your wife were the same. I hope you have good friends who can tide you over this.
Posted 06-16-2022 at 04:56 AM by hazel
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My condolences. I hope you get through it best you can.
Posted 06-16-2022 at 05:55 AM by TheTKS
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My sincere condolences.
Posted 06-16-2022 at 12:17 PM by solarfields
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please accept my condolences too, onebuck.
Posted 06-16-2022 at 03:09 PM by ponce
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I'm very sorry to hear that. Please accept my condolences.
Rob.Posted 06-16-2022 at 05:50 PM by fido_dogstoyevsky
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Time will help you heal.
Posted 06-17-2022 at 02:37 AM by xri
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My condolences, went though a similar issue with my last wife. It was the absolute hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Life goes on...
Posted 06-17-2022 at 10:36 AM by chrisretusn
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My condolences and prayers for you and your family.
Posted 06-19-2022 at 06:30 AM by mlangdn
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Sorry for you loss. I'm not a frequent poster, but a frequent reader of your posts, and you've help in so many ways. Find a support group for widowers, go to the gatherings, be with people and I don't' mean with virtual friends, but real in-person people. Let them help you if they offer. Life isn't the same, and change is difficult, but with family and friends it can be beared.
Posted 06-19-2022 at 11:34 PM by bamunds
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Hi,
I want to thank all of you for the support. I have been active getting ready to move back to Florida. I am planning on leaving here on July 2 with some help from a couple of football players to load my things. My old body is limited on how much can be lifted. I am planning at least 3-4 days traveling pulling the trailer for the 1126 mile trip by my new F-150 Lariat that my wife got me for my birthday last year. If I make at least 400 miles per day then closer to 3 days. It's been a while since I pulled a large load over the road but then I was driving a F-350 dually with a larger trailer loaded. So I will be extra careful.
The hard thing here is to get someone to handle the estate. This is peak sales time for auctions & estate sales. The company I've been planning with will get the estate moved out/off the property sometime in July and the sale sometime in September. I have no problems showing the house. Several families are interested and my attorney said remote sale will not be an issue.
The core house is one of the oldest here in Eureka that were built back in mid 1870 by the Pickerill family. We are the fourth family to own this property. It is now clad in brick with a beautiful expansion for a kitchen with Amish built cabinets, island all with Granite tops, large master bath upgraded and walk in closet. Plus a large family room. It has five bedrooms with the master on the first floor. Anne and I did a lot to the interior to bring back to present era. I really love the house but it is too much for one person and I have a nice home in Florida that is just right for me. I will miss my wood working shop that I had built but stocked by me.
Plus I will have family closer to me there and I will be able to play golf whenever time is available.
Again, a big Thank you to everyone!
-GaryPosted 06-21-2022 at 06:53 PM by onebuck
Updated 06-21-2022 at 06:57 PM by onebuck -
KINDA know how you feel.
I have my Moms ashes and in the middle of settling affairs. This is all recent.
Texas to Arizona.
At least I aint moving. We already have a realtor picked out.
Between stress and grief. Hard to keep a even keel around folks also.
Sorry for your loss. Good luck in Florida.Posted 06-22-2022 at 11:54 PM by rokytnji
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Hi,
Back in Florida now. Broke my trip down to three legs; from central Illinois to stop over in Murfreesboro, Tn (480 miles) then to Valdosta, Ga (500 miles) and then to my daughter's house in Lake Nona, Fl (220 miles) to off load her mothers stuff that she wanted. I then went on on to my home in Davenport, Fl (40 miles). The kids came over to help me off load trailer with the rest of the stuff here. I have been sorting stuff into places in the house. My daughter wants to help me but I prefer to do it myself so I know where things are going. My stuff, my system. I told her that I do appreciate the offers but no. Let me do it my way. I might be slow at this but at least it's getting done and I know where things are. Thankful I did filter what was brought back since my home here is half the size of the one in Illinois. Our farm house was 5000 sq. ft. and we had downsized to 2840 sq. ft. in town. I waiting for the house inspection, C.L.U.E.S report and deed search. It should not be a problem since this had been done about 9 years ago. But Inspection can pop something up, I really do not know of anything to cause issue(s) but you never know.
Sure, my daughter doesn't like changes in the way her mom set the house up but I have made some changes here that help me. It is my house and that's the way it will be. I love my family but do not need anyone hovering over me and trying to control me or the way I want things. They mean well but it's time for them to understand that I am living independent now. I won't isolate myself but it's time for them to remember there are boundaries that should not be crossed.
I have a lot of close friends here while others will be returning soon. Our community is small right now but I can play golf when I want. Share time with friends that are here. Snow birds will be returning in late summer to early fall.
I had to report to Social Security about my wife's death. I tried to get an appointment in Peoria, IL but no office appointments due to covid-19. A call appointment was to be made on 07-08-22 @ 10:30 and that was made after I had returned to Illinois in mid May. I was upset about the late appointment but it went well yesterday. I had to jump through some hoops. I have to get a certified copy of our marriage certificate via OfficialRecordsOnline.com which was the easiest way for me to get the required copies. It cost me $36 but worth it to expedite everything from my end to Social Security.
Again,
Thanks to all.
-GaryPosted 07-09-2022 at 05:57 AM by onebuck
Updated 07-09-2022 at 06:18 AM by onebuck
