LinuxQuestions.org - Puzzles & Jokes (Off-Topic Topic)

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Puzzles & Jokes (Off-Topic Topic)

Our Rules

The present thread is entitled “Puzzles & Jokes (Off-Topic Topic)”. So we publish here the puzzles and the jokes. It isn’t necessary to put here the solutions. So if you can restrain yourself from publishing the solutions – do that. Don’t publish them here.

Try instead to find a nice puzzle or joke and put it in that thread. Look for something puzzling or joyful. Try to keep close to the average level of the thread or elevate it with something really sophisticated. Don’t lower it significantly with something obviously stupid or plainly offensive.

The exception: if according to your research your solution is unique feel free to publish it here. (For example: the 12 marbles or “fake coin” problem described in the post has more than just one obvious solution and some of them are really impressive. So each new solution of that problem would be very interesting and valuable.)

The warning: when I spot here an obviously stupid or plainly offensive post I’ll refer to it in my reply and I’ll give the author of that unwelcome post 24 hours to delete the stupid or offensive content. If he or she defers to delete it or starts some stupid or offensive discussion with me I’ll destroy him or her with my replies. I’m the founder and the maintainer of that thread and I have no mercy for the dumbness. So don’t try to be stupid or offensive. Be smart. If you aren’t sure what I mean follow the posts #12 and #16 below by ponce as well as my replies to these posts: #13, #15, #17, and #19 (you could follow also the echo of that disturbance from the posts , #22, #23, and #24). As you’ll see one stupid and offensive post causes an unnecessary and extensive discussion. An explanation: the disturbance with ponce preceded the explicit formulation of the rules and – as a result – the mentioned above 24-hour waiting period didn’t apply to it.

(The rules formulated explicit March 24, 2013.)

The Guide

The post #12 tried to derail that thread and caused a brawl from the posts #13 to #19 and then an argument from the posts #21 to #24.

If you like such an atmosphere you can follow all those posts.

In the other case follow the thread to the post #11, then skip the posts #12 to #24, and continue from the post #25.

The Advertising

Sharpen your mind and your wit like a razor. Follow that thread. Solve the puzzles. Have fun reading the jokes. When you find something really puzzling or joyful publish that here. Be smart.

Integration of the Thread

eloi,

A prank time: “eloi, eloi, lama sabachthani?”.

***

Quote:

Originally Posted by myglide (Post 4915132)

My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN...:)

***

Quote:

Originally Posted by eloi (Post 4915810)

I've found this:

http://youtu.be/1E16_9nJ50M

HA, HA, HA, I ignored that (eloi is about the time machine).
Courious. God is angry because of my bad propaganda and is
playing with me! :).

***

Code:

S A T O R

A R E P O

T E N E T

O P E R A

R O T A S

Our Father, Our Father...Alpha and Omega

@w1k0: βουστροφηδόν

OK. It seems that some of you like the puzzles. I like them as well. Here’s the puzzle worth mentioning:

Quote:

You have 12 marbles. They all weigh the same, except one. You don’t know if that one is heavier or lighter. You have a balance scale. You can perform up to a maximum of three weighings to find out which marble has the different weight, and if it is heavier or lighter than the others.

Try to solve it unaided. It may take you a dozen of minutes, a dozen of days, or a dozen of lifetimes. Take care: you don’t know whether that unique marble is heavier or lighter so don’t assume that it’s heavier for example. (Or assume that and solve the easy version of the puzzle before you’ll start to solve the hard version.)

When you’ll find the answer look here. There’s more than one solution. The one by J. Wert is really brilliant.

eloi,

by the way: I don’t believe in you.

(See: my post on the fifth page of the Atheists thread in the Atheists social group).

Quote:

Originally Posted by didier spaier (Post 4915458)

@w1k0: βουστροφηδόν

Αυτό είναι όλα τα ελληνικά σε μένα.

Βλέπω...

Ego video...

I see...

Ich sehe...

Je vois...

Я вижу...

Widzę...

***

I couldn’t hold back myself and I thanked you. There’s 1001 reasons to thank you everyday.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Didier Spaier (Post 4915458)

βουστροφηδόν

Boustrophedon

When I write with my right hand I write the way showed in the odd lines.

When I write with my left hand I write the way showed in the even lines.

The “odd” method is odd for me because I was born as left-handed but when I was a child there was a tendency to switch lefties into “righties” so I’m now a mixed type: the things which I learned myself I do with the left hand and the things taught to me I do with the right hand.

I know God exist's. that he created the universe. its a fact...

Oh! Thanks for let me know.

O Sancta Simplicitas!

Quote:

Originally Posted by w1k0 (Post 4915487)

eloi,

by the way: I don’t believe in you.

While you don't think in burning me at stake it's OK.

By the way, those that believe in Me know that soon I will found
my own church web site with a paypal button to accept offerings
(e-baptisms 10€).

Quote:

Originally Posted by myglide (Post 4915621)

I know God exist's. that he created the universe. its a fact...

yupz, he created earth too (warning, religious satire below)

http://twistedspeedo.com/?p=993

Quote:

Originally Posted by ponce (Post 4915920)

yupz, he created earth too

http://twistedspeedo.com/?p=993

It seems to you that the above was funny? It seems to you that the above fitted that thread? You didn’t put even a warning: “OFFENSIVE: TAKE CARE!!!”?

Maybe it seems to you also that you’re smart. You aren’t. Feel free to not put your comments in the threads founded or commented by me. You simply don’t match my level. You don’t match any level.

(By the way: Earth is the part of the Universe.)

***

Quote:

Originally Posted by eloi (Post 4915887)

While you don't think in burning me at stake it's OK.

I don’t. In the first post I said to you: “eloi, eloi, lama sabachthani?”. So you’re God and I’m Christ. Some people crucified the other Christ because he believed in the other God. I don’t like to be crucified so I stated that I don’t believe in you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by eloi (Post 4915887)

By the way, those that believe in Me know that soon I will found
my own church web site with a paypal button to accept offerings
(e-baptisms 10€).

Don’t forget about e-confession (1€). That’s the true source of the income.

Quote:

Originally Posted by eloi (Post 4915810)

I've found this:

http://youtu.be/1E16_9nJ50M

HA, HA, HA, I ignored that (eloi is about the time machine).
Courious. God is angry because of my bad propaganda and is
playing with me! :).

We aren’t Eloi. We’re Morlocks. Thanks to us the machinery works.

God can’t be angry at you because He doesn’t exist. He doesn’t play with you either. I play with you and the other users of that forum. Unfortunately some of them can’t grasp the rules of the game. (See: ponce.)

ponce

ponce /p'ɒns/ (ponces poncing ponced)

1 [N-COUNT]
A ponce is the same as a pimp. (BRIT INFORMAL, OLD-FASHIONED)

2 [N-COUNT]
If you call a man a ponce, you are insulting him because you think the way he dresses or behaves is too feminine. (BRIT INFORMAL, RUDE)

(Source: Collins Cobuild 5.)