Ok, since uh.... I was pretty much written off (most likely for rambling like a desperate newbie MADMAN) I was forced to solve this problem myself.
Fellow newb with an AirCard, here's what I did:
0) This card was initially activated on XP and it's my (paid) account.
1) I created a user account then signed in as that user.
2) I opened a console and typed
which made me root for the session.
3) I typed
4) I followed all of the prompts, using the suggested information, only you HAVE TO KNOW your user name and password for Sprint. Not sure? Go to Sprint.com and sign in. Whatever username and password you used there, use here.
5) When prompted for Sprint's IP name or whatever I just put
and for the IP address I put
when this was done I typed
and hit enter.
6) I typed
then enter. A list comes up and under modem you see a line that reads /dev/modem which has to be changed to
7) I used the arrow keys to move the cursor to the line I wanted changed, hit the "i" button to input new info, the "esc" button to enter COMMAND mode again, then used the "x" button to delete the unwanted characters. When finished the line should read
8) I typed
to exit visual editor mode (and save changes) and return to command prompt.
9) I closed out terminal session. *whew*
NEXT TASK, ENABLE MODEM
10) I hit the K-Menu button
11) I navigated to "Settings>Internet & Network>Network Settings" and clicked it
12) I clicked the ADMINISTRATOR MODE button at the bottom of the window.
13) I saw two devices: one called ETH0 with a wifi icon next to it, and one called ETH1 with an Ethernet Card Icon next to it. I chose the latter (by clicking it) then clicked the CONFIGURE INTERFACE button.
14) The defaults were already set to "automatic" and "DHCP" so I just hit OK, then I clicked the ENABLE INTERFACE button. When it was done I clicked OK and got outta there. (There was now a green check next to ETH1, and ETH0 was disabled)
FINAL TASK, set up KPPP
15) I printed this off my work computer and used it to set up KPPP, scrolling down and starting at the line "CONNECT USING KPPP":
Then I signed on! :-) Since I'm brand new to all of this I am sure the route I took was not the best. But it worked. I'm sure the Linux gurus have better ways to do it, but unfortunately they didn't offer them here. Anyway, good luck!