Actually, its the 'TakeConsole' and 'GiveConsole' actions at the end and beginning of the first session that reassigns the audio. The permissions that are used are found in /etc/security/console.perms - just change the default 600 for sound to 660, add yourself and your wife to the audio group and voila!
Well ALMOST voila - the /usr/bin/soundwrapper script that re-routes xmms etc through artsd will crash in the second session that is started. So either start xmms directly, or change /usr/bin/soundwrapper to look like this:
Code:
if [ -O "/dev/sound/dsp" ] ; then
if [ `/sbin/pidof -s artsd` ] ; then
artsdsp "$@"
else
if [ `/sbin/pidof -s esd` ]; then
esddsp "$@"
else
"$@"
fi
fi
else
"$@"
fi
which starts the sound app directly in all sessions but the owner of the sound devices.