I couldn't figure out Linux until I started treating her like a classy woman. I realized she wouldn't give me anything unless I gave her what she wanted first. My first goal was not to get what I wanted, but to learn what Linux wanted. She wanted me to know her before she would put out. What if I learned her secrets and then went back to Windows. She'd be crushed. I promised I wouldn't ever go back to Windows, and she became more cooperative. Once I made the decision to stay with her, she told me about herself. It was a commitment I made to Linux, and I kept it.

Now I dominate her, and she performs for me. I can get her to do anything, but I had to say goodbye to Windows, or she wouldn't even talk to me. She and I keep Windows prisoner on a partition we never boot. About once a year I give Windows some sunlight, just so Microsoft will know their OS gets used about once a year on my system. I use Linux every day, but Linux doesn't demand total fidelity. However, she will not tolerate being thrown aside for another os. She will gnaw at your heart until you go back to her. When she misbehaves you will throw up your fists in rage, but you'll never intentionally hurt her. She knows that.

If you know her you are a man who loves a mysterious woman. Go, find a real girl, and treat her like you treat Linux.

AwesomeMachine

Can I suggest that *if* you find a *real* girl, you don't tell her you feel this way about a computer program? Unless she is also barking.
Sarcasm aside, I kind-of agree with the underlying sentiment that having control over a *powerful beast* gives some of us (otherwise powerless men) a rush.

It's probably a mistake though to think that if we know our women well enough, they can similarly be controlled.

This is an allegory on how computer nerds can pick up chicks. I don't have a problem with that. You are correct, a woman probably would misinterpret my post.

This is probably the weirdest thread I've read on here in a long time. And yet, I still broke out laughing.

The OP also gives us the wonderful thread on using the dd command. We will allow him to post weird things **anytime he wants**

Yeah i wish

I don't want to offend, but I'm going to stop using my linux that much. This is not the kind of post I want to write in a few months. Great! now my wife is bugging me.

You're crazy, just stop the "nag" service from starting at boot, change the grub menu.lst to boot into the 2.6-Lusty_Female Kernel and whisper sorted :P

That's funny, because I tend to think of Linux as just the opposite of women. If anything I think I associate windows more to being like most women -- the better you get to the know them, the more you want to get rid of them.

On second thought though, Linux has given me migrains a few times, as well as frustrated the hell out of me.

I have yet to find the ultimate web browser. I've used IE, Mozilla Gecko, Opera, Galeon, Epiphany, and some other one in KDE (Been a been a long time since I loaded up KDE. Think it was Evolution maybe.).

I find that they all have some nice features that I like. The only problem is that I can't find a browser that has all of the features I like. Also, browsers seems vary alot in how resource hungry they are.

To me, the ultimate browser would have customizable fullscreen (eg. can decide what elements like buttons and toobars etc show up in full screen mode and autohide could be toggled like in IE), would have 1-click autoresizing of images to fit windows like IE and Gecko does, have a nice and clean streamlined interface like galeon and epiphany, and would of course have a built in download manager. Those are the main features that I think are the most important IMO. Having tabs is always nice and handy, but I can take of leave them either way. I don't really see a huge advantage to tabs over just having multiple windows other than it helps somewhat with organization maybe. Though I find multiple workspaces make them sort of a moot point for my purposes.

Anyone have a recommendation of a browser that has the features I talk about?

Thats kind of funny because I find girls tend to like my geekiness. Of course this is most useful when they have a computer problem, but all in all they tend to like my geeky nature.

I remember this one time when I was in high school I was just getting my feet wet with Linux and my then girlfriend comes over and I'm configuring a kernel. I told her I would finish up and be done just as quickly as I could, she told me to keep at it and set there with her head on my knee staring up at the screen admiring my geeky powers in making that kernel work.

Although, one time she called late at night and heard typing as I tried to get KDE to emerge overnight- she wasn't too happy about that one.

Linux, I don't really think its like the average woman, Windows, now thats more like it: temperamental, shuts down on you randomly, can give you nasty infections.

Linux is like the ideal woman (at least for me): intelligent, low maintainance, flexible, attractive (come on guys you know Gnome looks way better than the Windows desktop). Just like finding a home user of Linux in the greater grouping of society is difficult so is finding an ideal woman.

Ah, what I wouldn't give for a girlfriend who even really understands Linux.

Women all understand linux. It's just they understand how to color coordinate the desktop so it looks not like a blind person dressed it, not how to do anything productive. It's like giving a 21 year old girl a Corvette with a 5 speed manual 350 cu.in. V-8. She's going to drive it like a 4-cyl. automatic anyway, because girls only compete with each other for men. Whereas men compete with each other for everything. To a woman linux is something to have a guy help you with. To a guy it is unconquered frontier, a path every man must travel alone, with junk food, in a room lit with nothing but the monitor, and a working MS Windows XP machine, or at least partition, to google with; all in the early hours of the morning.

To a woman kernels are uninteresting. To a man the kernel is power. This is because women derive all their power from the man in their life. All female power comes through obedience to a man. All male power comes through mastery of creation. Who needs to learn linux when you got a guy to learn it for you. In the end, women like to pick out home furnishings, wallpaper, carpeting, to nest, and be loved. Men need something to conquer for their whole lives. That is woman, or linux; Hopefully not both at the same time.

are you married? maybe not if she reads that

what a sexist thread :P