OK, seriously; hello folks.
I am not a computing newbie -- from circa 1989. Never indulged in Unix really -- just a spell on VMS, after touching Apple ][s, PCs and before many years on CP/M-86 and Concurrent DOS. Early on, and being a naive programmer, I had innocently coded odd (and small) versions of AWK/GREP and even SED... these where heady days of my assembler coding and debugging (parts of and device drivers for CP/M-86).
I progressed to C and was waylaid by the lure of /power/ and money in the (now'a days) dull ranks of Windows, commerce and (later) financial companies/banks. I had peaked at Debian Linux, but having rung my /bell/, when pursuing week-end motorcycle racing (on circuits), I, unwisely, looked at, purchased and settled for OS X on Macs. At least it was a Unix.
Having historically bounced between the USA and Eu^Hgland, I have moved (or fled) and am now in Chile, South America; slowly learning the lingo, berating the locals and happily moving (technically) to GNU/Linux!
After all my trials and tribulations, I have become wiser, older and smarter, and re-focused (esp. on GNU/Linux and scripting!)