actually, I didn't need to remove the rpm version. I discovered late last night that you can avoid that by changing the LD files before you configure the apache install, you can avoid a few problems. This is what I did:
export LDFLAGS="-L/usr/local/openssl/current/lib -R/usr/local/openssl/current/lib"
Then I ran my configure:
./configure --prefix=/usr/local/apache/<ver> --enable-so --enable-mods-shared=<whatever mods you need> --with-ssl=/usr/local/openssl/current --with-mpm=worker
and what do you know, it used the right libraries.