i probably should have searched the forum for the answer before posting this because i found the solution in another post.
in the directory /etc/X11/ you have to edit the "default-display-manager" so that it lists the directory that KDM is in. by default, mine was set to GDM so the path looked like "/usr/sbin/gdm" well i looked around with krusader and found KDM in the "/usr/bin/kdm".
why they're in different directories, i haven't a clue, im relatively new to linux as it is. this did, however, solve my problem and now the sexy login screen i installed shows up
edit: hahahah i didn't see your update before i changed all this, thank you though evilmonkey