Okay, I think I got it fixed now. For one, the alsa-drivers package was not installed (Why? IDFK), so I did that.
yum install alsa-drivers
Then I got rid of pulse (again).
rpm -e --nodeps pulseaudio
(I've got things that say they need pulse, but work just fine without it, ex. MythTV)
Then, copy-pasta'd from http://fedoraunity.org/Members/fenri...nd-workarounds
(See under "To Completely Remove PulseAudio") into ~/.asoundrc
# For details, see http://www.alsa-project.org/main/index.php/Asoundrc
# cat /proc/asound/cards to see which hardware device
Finally, Ctrl + Alt + Backspace and...
Also, go into Phonon settings and make GStreamer the default backend, and "default" and the default device for everything.