Hi, you aren't a moron, just new.
Everyone goes through that feeling. First, do you have the compiz settings manager installed ? That's where you find and futz with all the compiz options. Emerald just adds the sweet themes. In the compiz settings manager, go to the "rotate cube" section, and they have a ton of options to play with. Here is a link, I think it's kde centric, but it worked for me.
It's a little dated, but it worked for me, having the fusion icon in the kde system tray works well for me.
Best of luck....let us know how it turned out....
P.S. Oh, the middle mouse button, the scroll wheel should let you rotate the cube, if that's your question. You might have to set that setting in the config, but I think it's the default option. Have fun.