If I understand what you are describing, you are correct in that these are functions of an MTA - Mail Transfer Agent, such as Postfix or QMail.
Unfortunately, setting up a mail server is one of the more complicated things that a server operator can do that involves a tremendous amount of configuration of multiple programs, for example, the MTA itself which runs multiple processes, the POP/IPAM server which is different, a SQL back-end for multiple users, anti-spam plug ins, anti-virus checking, decoders to handle the attachment types for virus scanning, DNS setup for MX records and possibly for SPF records too, and more.
As far as a guide goes, there are several out there. Two common Postfix ones are the one(s) on How-To-Forge and Flurdy.com. As I said above, an email server is a big beast that is tailored to your organization and it is nearly impossible to just 'guide you' on the settings needed at the level you describe.
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