is there a web front end i can use in apache as a softphone
 

i am creating a PBX server somewhere with asterisk and i am wondering if there are any programs i can use as a web front end for using asterisk as a softphone (video and audo) and an instand messaging client. sort of like a web front for email (squirrel mail) but works with asterisk. I want to do this in apache with php (if possible i am sure there are other languages out there)

not that I'm aware of. There is a local company where I live that impliments asterisk servers and has a web front end that they wrote in php. As far as I know, there is nothing else like this.

then where can i find one that works on xmpp (what are the best and easiest to setup)

not sure about xmpp, but you may have a look at LMCE. Probably a little bit of overkill for what your wanting, but still pretty cool and uses asterisk