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That's the point of my questioning. The documentation I read said that I shouldn't need the NEW status, because that's the whole idea about the ip_conntrack_ftp: to make iptables understand that the NEW 20/tcp IN packet is RELATED to the 21/tcp OUT packet.
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this is normally true because all output is allowed.
so then an established or related packet in input, is accepted, because the FIRST packet gets out through the OUTPUT chain.
but you seem to be using the linux machine as a router (whch is why u put rules in FORWARD i assume ?)
because both input and output goes through forward, the first packet does not get through.
you dont seem to understand iptables fully... why not try an automatic firewall rule generator like firestarter.
it will ask you simple questions, and generate very secure rule sets for you.