X connection to localhost:11.0 broken (explicit kill or server shutdown).
... so i can ssh fine but no matter what i do with starting vnc it doesnt seem to work
"localhost:11.0" as your $DISPLAY variable sounds like a ssh X redirection, not the display of the machine you want to connect to. Type "echo $DISPLAY" in the shell, you will see localhost:11.0 See the ssh(1) man page for more information on how this works.
If you don't tell x11vnc explicitly which X display to connect to, it will use your $DISPLAY setting (like all X clients do.)
To tell it, use this:
x11vnc -display :0 <anything-else-you-need>
Where DISPLAY :0 is the X session you are already logged into on the machine and you wish to view it.
BTW, if localhost:11 did redirect to the local X session you are sitting at, then you could probably just type "firefox" in that shell and the app would (slowly) appear on it. But since x11vnc couldn't connect to it, something else must be not working.