Now I am a bit of a noob so be gentle
Followed this guide
But made the error of installing as root, it all worked but obviously the VNCViewer brought me into a gnome session as root.
So I removed vnc-server, deleted .vnc in /
Reinstalled this time as a regular user.
Now when I remote in I only get a terminal screen, my xstartup is ok.
Might not be that relevant but when I boot up the VNCServer fails to start (says no display found). Starts fine from a terminal window.