I feel for ya, and I recieve IM's from time to time, and am willing to walk you, or anybody through anything.
That said, I am a newbie too. I can give you the most basic help, but beyond that, your guess (after understanding the basics and applying them) would probably be as good as mine. There is a tutorial worth trying out over at www.linux.org
and you might wanna give that a run through, it places at least a pair of socks on your naked linux body
I am on almost all the time, but that doesn't mean I am near my computer, so if you IM me and I don't respond, that just means that I am not there, not that I don't want to help.
Anyway, my AOL screen-name that I made for helping the newbiest of newbies and for chatting with other LQers is MasterCLQ Isn't that original?
One more thing...
I don't run RH, only Mandrake (as far as RPM based distros go), so again my answers are going to be super basic and not very Distro specific, so you are going to have to find most of the answers on your own. My answers will be generic and super newbie typed.