Oh hey! I got it just a couple of hours ago, I forgot to post, haha.
After MASSIVE amounts of searching,
All I did was go to /etc/apt/sources.list and I added my interface like this:
iface eth0 inet dhcp
and saved it.
Then my interface eth0 came up when I hit ifconfig, so I was able to update, upgrade, and connect to the internet.
Thanks for all your help you guys!
Now, there's two more thing I want to be able to do, haha. Set up my wlan0, and get a static ip. Any ideas on that?