you sent me a PM - I reply here:
To use totem to play back dvd's you need gst-plugins-ugly - as it is called here: http://www.gnome.org/projects/totem/
and of course libdvdread and/or libdvdcss to crack them
It also depends how totem is built - it can use gstreamer or xine as a backend - the gstreamer backend does not support menus:
How to get all this for your distribution - I don't know - probably like any other software ...
I like "mplayer" best - I use it all the time - and sometimes "vlc". Both of them work very well for me.