i found out how the entire thing works ...
main .desktop entrees (the programs) are in /usr/share/applications
well, most are there... you can copy and edit them to add support for other programs .. i did that for a lot of games .. now just to make icons for those games ...
anyways, icons are stored in all sorts of locations .. i think mainly /use/share/pixmaps
i think are the 2 main locations
anyways.... to add ideams to the start menu edit the /etc/gnome-vfs-2.0/vfolders/starthere*
file .. simply copy these lines form that applications vfold file (in same directory)
<!-- Load the GNOME2 applications from our prefix -->
<!-- Default .directory location -->
then just copy sub-folder options from the application menu into the starthere file, well, you need to copy it to a spot before this occurs
otherwise it kinda gives a error when you try to use it ..
to add programs o the start here directory, just place the .desktop files into /etc/X11/starthere
its just the same as /usr/share/applications except the ones in /etc/X11/starthere show up only in the "start here" folder, no matter what categories they have