Your right...............vfat is a pain
In that case, you _can_ set the ownership through fstab using the 'uid=' and 'gid=' options. You will need to know the id numbers for the user (uid) and the group (gid). To easily find them, run this command:
cat /etc/passwd | grep -i <username here>
You'll get some output similar to this (this is mine):
The first four-digit set of numbers is the 'uid', the second three-digit set of numbers is the 'gid'.........................FYI, the first field is the username, the third field is the user id (uid), the fourth field is the group id (gid), the fifth field is the user's full name, the sixth field is the user's home directory, and the last field is the default shell for the user. I'm not sure what the x in the second field is, except maybe to enable/disable the user (just a guess).
Anyway, in fstab you want to set the options for your vfat directory like so:
/dev/hda5 /media vfat defaults,umask=000,uid=1002,gid=100 0 0
Just be sure to use the numbers for your username. That'll set the user and group attributes to match the user....................After making any changes, you'll need to 'umount /dev/hda5' then run 'mount -a' to let the changes take effect.
But as quatsch pointed out, with the umask=000 option alone, anyone can do anything in that directory. This was just to show you how it can be done.