There are a couple of ways to accomplish an installation without the Internet. The easiest would be to purchase a CD from one of the many companies selling them.
http://www.on-disk.com shares part of the price with the developers.
http://www.linuxcentral.com is cheaper and offers great service
Or if you live in the states you can buy a boxed set of Ubuntu at BestBuy or do a google for "buy name-of-distribution"
You can also order a free copy of Ubuntu - and they even pay the shipping but it may take a week or two.
If all that fails send me a note with your address and I'll send you one free.
Hang in there - Linux is worth it.
John