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I will take a guess, but that's all it is is a semi-educated guess..
As it is a laptop, I wonder could it be related to the ACPI system, either putting the CD drive into a sleep state or standby state, from which it is not resuming (or not resuming properly).
This mostly applies to your first half of the question, as to why you can't seem to access the drive after like 20 minutes or so.
As to the second half, (again Guessing) maybe the machine is planning on going into a reduced power state and is going to put the drive to sleep, so it wants you to take the disc out first.
You may want to look into the ACPI system and what it does/doesn't do on your machine.
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