comin to you live from windows on my lappy!!! dont ask me how it worked but...
i downloaded this rescue disk:
booted with it, ran "run_qtparted" then resized my windows partition. initially i was resizing it to backup my windows hard drive so i could format but i thought i would give it a shot at booting again and it worked first time!!!! whooo!!!!!! so i guess it was just a problem in the way suse created the partition table,qt_parted must have repaired this without thinking, thanks.
its very late so im off now, good luck to anyone else in this situation, DONT GIVE IN!! if you can see it from linux then its still there and can be saved. night all, its been a long day. 16hrs to find the prob, 30 min to fix it.