GeneralThis forum is for non-technical general discussion which can include both Linux and non-Linux topics. Have fun!
Welcome to LinuxQuestions.org, a friendly and active Linux Community.
You are currently viewing LQ as a guest. By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics, receive our newsletter, use the advanced search, subscribe to threads and access many other special features. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today!
Note that registered members see fewer ads, and ContentLink is completely disabled once you log in.
A friend gave me a link to another forum, anyway i searched through it, and found this which brightened up my day and thought i'd share the laugh
Having a bad day!
Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know.
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had
transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're
an [as*hole]!" and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word as*hole, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up.
He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're an as*hole!"
It would always cheer me up. Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID.
This was a real setback for me; I would have to stop calling the as*hole.
Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number and when I heard his voice, "Hello?"
I made up a name. "Hi. I'm with the Telephone Company and I'm just calling to see if you'd be interested in our caller ID program?"
"No!" he shouted and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an as*hole
The next day an old lady at the shopping center really took her time pulling out of a parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to
move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. "Great", I thought, "she's finally leaving."
All of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I hit the horn and started yelling, "You can't do that. I
was here first!"
The guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me. He walked toward the shopping center as if I didn't even exist. I thought to myself, "This guy's another as*hole
there sure are a lot of assholes in this world."
Then, I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car.
I wrote down the phone number. Then, I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later, I'm sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're an as*hole! (It's really easy since I have his number
on speed dial now.)
I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black BMW there on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too. After a couple rings, someone answered the phone
and said, "Hello."
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front." I said, "What's your name?" "My name is Don Hansen." "When's a good time
to catch you, Don?" "I'm home in the evenings." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Sure..." "Don, you're an as*hole! And I slammed the phone down.
Then, I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. I must say, for a while things seemed to be going much better for me. Now, when I had a problem I had two
assholes to call.
Then, after several months of calling the assholes and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came
up with this solution:
First, I had my phone speed dial [censored] #1. A man answered nicely, "Hello?" I yelled, "You're an as*hole but I didn't hang up. The as*hole said, "Are you still there?" I
said, "Yeah." He said, "Stop calling me." I said, "Make me" as*hole! He said, "What's your name, pal?" So I told him, "Don Hansen." He said, "Where do you live?" "1802
West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black BMW's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, as*hole!" and I hung up.
Then I called as*hole #2.
Don Hansen answered, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, as*hole
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"I'll kick your ass."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, as*hole And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was on my way to 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as I got there.
Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down on West 34th Street.
After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious satisfaction! Watching two assholes kicking the crap out of each other
in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
Now you know what to do if you have a really bad day
This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US warship
and the Irish Navy off the coast of Kerry. Radio conversation released by
the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95:
IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a collision.
US: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid a
IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the
South to avoid a collision.
US: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR
IRISH: Negative. I say again. You will have to divert your course.
US: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER US ENTERPRISE THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE US ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES TO THE NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.