Mock Beauty Pagent
 

Here's a good one. I'm in a beauty pagent.

It's a parody of Miss America that my school puts on every year. There's three sections that I know of: swimsuit, formalwear, and talent.

I have no idea what to do for my talent.
I only get 3 minutes of time for it.

For the swimsuit, I had the idea of getting some sort of heart-shaped chest hair, like Meyres did in Austin Powers.

Other than that, I'm out of ideas.

Anyone else have any?
Keep the answers cynical and sarcastic--it's a comedy.

If you do this, all the girls will just think you're a piece of meat. You don't want that, do you?

How about a magic show? You can make a kernel appear before their very eyes from nothing but a whole bunch of text files. You'd need a fast computer to get it under 3 mins, though.

Hah.

Is that really such a bad thing though? ;)

swimsuit: a couple of melons, and a baywatch red 2-piece.

for the magic show, you could introduce a livecd distro that magically rans w/o installing on the hadrdrive. now thats astounding. ;)

formal wear: these black glasses w/ masking tape holding 'em together, some overalls hiked 1/2 way up your chest, and a large floppy straw hat with a pengiun on it.

;);););););););)